Hooker Line: ★The Enforcer Throwdown★ with @Kele_Moon

20160313073604If you follow any of us hookers, then you already know how obsessed we are with all things Kele Moon. I first discovered her with the hottest BDSM MMF I’ve ever read, Beyond Eden. Immediately after that I discovered her Battered Hearts series and I. Was. Hooked. I have been stalking her incessantly for every new release but then she did a spin off of her Battered Hearts and wrote Untamed Hearts, which is a grittier series and the most amazing anti-heroes I’ve read. (You can read my reviews for The Untamed Hearts series here: The Viper, The Slayer. Battered Hearts: Crossing The Lines)

Geri, Alex and I have been absolutely obsessed with this amazing series for years. We salivate for every new release and we spend an unhealthy amount of time fighting over a particular fictional character *cough* Nova *cough*. So with the upcoming release of Tino’s book; The Enforcer, we decided that we’d get her over to our Hooker Line and pick her brain on all things Tino, Nova, Untamed Hearts and much much more! We may have corrupted her a little, but if she tells you she didn’t like it she’s lying.

Make sure you visit each of our posts, because like all our Hooker Line features, we each put our own unique spin on the…chat 😉
Alex @AlleskelleBlogsButMostlyReadshttp://wp.me/p5CGqW-1KZ
Geri @TheRacyLitReaderhttp://wp.me/p7eyRX-xa

Warning: There will be constant intermissions between questions for Alex and I to throw down over Nova. That whore has been after my man for years, and I’m having none of that! So without further ado, let’s get into this thing, shall we?tumblr_mu3x4vC19r1szgkgbo1_500

Oh wait….I meant the interview. We’ll wait for the hooker slap downs for at least a minute…maybe…

Lana: So let’s get right into it then? Like a gang bang.

Alex: Oh we’re doing this now? *affixing knives, guns ready, claws unsheathed*

Kele: LOL!

Geri: Speaking of gangbang, we’re officially welcoming Kele to the Hooker lair!

Lana:  Fair warning, Kele, we’re probably going to be taking regular intermissions to bitch fight over Nova. So….

Kele: That’s fine. Nova won’t complain.

Lana: We don’t ease you into anything. No putting the tip in. It’s the whole 12 inches straight away.

Alex: Lana, you’re such a dirty whore. Way to ease things in.

Lana: Like this is a shock to anyone. Pfft! I think we scared Kele off. Kele!!!! I was just kidding (mostly).

Alex: Well, at least you could keep up appearances. you know? Be classy for once?

Kele: Nova will probably say there’s enough of him to go around. He’s been pretty stressed out lately.

Lana: Uhem! I’ll take care of him. My poor baby. *pets*

Alex: He already has me Lana. You can get back to your whoring ways with whomever man candy available.

Lana: Just stay away from my Nova and no one will get hurt. GAWD. But anyway

Geri: Now Kele, as you know, I’m volunteering to be referee because you know what will happen if I don’t.

Kele: I still stand by Nova claiming there’s no need for referee. He’s um…able to go the distance

Alex: Lana, you’re my friend so I’ll let you on that lie you like to tell yourself.

Geri: Lol!

Kele: Nova’s got some undiscovered talents. Well… not undiscovered…

Alex: LOL Kele. In The Enforcer he sure seemed to be, um, very capable. *fans self*

Kele: Yes, he does alright.

Alex: I was transfixed whenever he would enter a scene. I’m in love. *whispers*he is mine*whispers*

*PAUSE for slap down intermission because…ALEX!!! Boob slap is a must here!*


*And we’re back!*

Kele: There’s a lot of him in this book. In a lot of ways, it’s his story, too!

Lana: Let’s start from the beginning though. Can we do a short intro for Untamed Hearts for those that may be unfamiliar with it still (*totally judging them*)

Kele: Sure!

Geri: Yes, and for Kele herself. For our our followers who might not be familiar with her work (I judge them too, Lana)

Alex: I’m not judging, my greedy self would be totally okay to keep both Nova and Tino for meself.

Geri: ha! of course you would!

Alex: eh, you’ve met me. Greedy Hooker.

Lana: And Chuito! Don’t forget Chu! *mine*

Alex: Lana, let’s strike a deal. You keep Chu. I’ll take Nova and Tino. Everybody is happy.

*oh hell no! Definitely a pause for a slap down intermission*He-also-best-physical-comedy-like-slap-fight-Jess-2

*And we’re back*

Geri: But really, Kele, we would love for you tell our followers about Untamed hearts and your books in general.

Kele: OMG! I should be better at summing them up!

The Untamed Hearts books are a spin-off from the Battered Hearts book.

In Battered Hearts, the heroes are, for lack of a better term, all good guys. They are law abiding, hardworking heroes…

Geri: Yup. My love Wyatt is a good guy. *blushes

Alex: Lol Geri, you stopped blushing a while ago, Hooker

Kele: But in that three book series… There was a set of other side characters whose relationship with the law was very different. Through the story ARC of Battered Hearts the heroes of the first book sort of had to start to realize that everything wasn’t as black and white as they thought and that was largely to do with these side characters who were connected to Italian Mafia.

Geri: Wyatt in general is very stick in the mud, stick to his morals but he changed throughout the series when he met the Morettis.

Alex: The Untamed Hearts! Brilliant! I was dying to get more of the Moretti brothers.

Geri: I loved how the series is connected by the way.

Alex: And you did such a great job with it. Introducing them, interlacing the good and the bad… Love the connection Yes, Geri.

Lana: Now here’s a question I always get. Should people read Battered Hearts first to truly appreciate Untamed Hearts?

Geri: Yes, Great question, Lana I get asked the same questions myself.

Lana: Because I always say they should. Yes, each book stands strongly but the story ARC interconnects and I feel like you truly get a whole new appreciation for the characters if you follow their journey through both series.

Alex: I think it would be ideal, but not necessary.

Kele: I don’t think you have to read it… I really don’t… I’ve designed them to stand on their own, but I think as the series progresses… people may want to.

Geri: It would make people curious.

Kele: The first book, Viper was an unknown character in the Battered Hearts world. So clearly that stands alone by design.

Geri: I knew I was when I started reading it

Alex: It’s true, Kele, Marcos story was a standalone itself but I enjoyed knowing about others characters from the previous books. Definitely a perk.

Lana: But what about Untamed Hearts? Should that be read in order? Because that’s one I strongly feel should. There’s so much that happens in the very beginning.

Kele: Yes. I believe it should without a doubt… Because the plot lines tie together from book to book.

Geri: But these last three books is even more interconnected, right? When did the idea of a spin-off really started for you, Kele? Is it one of those things that the story just wrote itself? Or did you have to do a lot of plotting to tie things together?

Lana: YES! And the way these stories all interconnect? I mean, all the way back to Battered Hearts

Kele: There’s an overall issue/conflict that gets bigger and bigger with each one and I think readers will want to read in order.

Yes, The Untamed Hearts book are all interconnected… Viper, like I said, was a new character set in the same town as Battered Hearts. Chuito, the Slayer (Book 2) was a secondary character in Battered Hearts, but his real story was largely unknown until Viper, and then more so in his book…

*Pause for another slap down intermission because Alex is a thieving whore*giphy-12

*And we’re back*

Lana: Now, did anyone else notice that the series gets progressively darker/grittier after the first book. Seriously. I feel like Marcos was a walk in the park compared to Chu. And then Tino’s book? #AllTheFeels

Alex: Right, Lana, I think I’ve had the worst book hangover and feelings crushed with this book than any other else in this series. Such raw feelings.

Lana: I love how raw and emotional the series is. But man, Tino’s book ripped my heart to shreds.

Kele: Okay, first… Yes, the series does get darker on purpose. As like I said, Battered Hearts had very law abiding heroes… So with Viper, he was sort of a first step into this darker series… Chuito got quite a bit darker and it sort of set us up for the dive into the mafia world with Tino’s story.

Alex: Do you have a family member part of the mafia somehow or…? How do you manage to write such realistic background for gangs and mafia in your books?

Kele: As for knowledge of the mafia, I have a lot of different resources. Friends in law enforcement, etc… Outside that, I have talked to a lot of interesting people who have stories to tell. Most of it, largely is research. Lots of research. But I do have people to call and ask questions.

Alex: Honestly the work research is completely astounding, to me. It feels all SO right, real…

Lana: I’m blown away at the amount of forethought that went into it. Seriously.

Kele: I reach out to people online. I find people who know something about different things and I’ll add them to my list of people to bug. I bug a lot of people!

Geri: I don’t think we can talk about this series without talking about the bromance. I love LOVE the relationships that these men have with each other.

Kele: I love writing male relationships. Brothers, friends, lovers, etc… That’s probably one of my favorite things to write. I dunno why.

Geri: I love how emotionally in touch they are to each other.

Lana: The bromance with Tino and Chu. Can we talk about that for a hot second? Because… LOVE

Alex: Ah the bromance. Best men’s relationship EVER in this series. Tearing up and cracking up at the same time.

Kele: LOL!

Geri: Love it. It shows, it feels really authentic.

Kele: I loved writing them! Tino and Chuito’s friendship was very fun. Because they are very different personality wise.

Lana: The part when they talk about manscaping. Best quote EVAH.

“You just told me you manspaced. You’re fucked up too.”
“It’s a common courtesy,” Tino went on. “No woman wants to suck on a hairy dick.” ~ The Slayer

Alex: LOL. And what about Marcos from Viper teaching how to perform oral to Chuito, eh?

Geri: LMAO!

Lana: HA! Marcos did have an oral fixation. I like!

Watching a hot girl come was his drug of choice. When other guys his age were sinking into drugs or alcohol, he was sneaking into girls’ bedrooms and going down on them. ~ The Viper

Kele: Loyalty is very ingrained in them…it’s intrigue to survival…but at the same time, it’s hard for them to trust.

Geri: Yes! And they won’t hesitate to die for one another.

Kele: Yeah… I think it’s sort of funny that Chuito, who is— I don’t want to say more conservative, but he holds his cards closer to his chest when it comes to sex, relationships, etc. is best friends with Tino and his cousin Marcos, who are both…very out there!

Alex: Marcos was the Manwhore of the lot then. Wait, I’m forgetting Nova’s ways.

Lana: The bond between them all is the best.

Geri: It’s the best thing to read ever.

Kele: As for at the loyalty, I think once Tino and Chuito really decided they trusted each other, that meant more than I think either of them understands from the other.

Lana: Now Nova is a bit of the odd man out. I feel he’s intriguing and misunderstood. No worries. I’ll take care of all his emotional boo-boos. Who would you say Nova feels the closest to, Kele. (hint: ME)

Kele: Well, Nova is very close to Tino.

Alex: Lana, you turn that off can’t you?

Lana: MINE!!!!!

Geri: Ok, here we go.

Alex: Are you off your meds again? We agreed earlier you take Chuito, he’s big and all, I’ll handle the Morettis. All of ’em.

*Clearly Alex is delusional so that calls for another hooker slap down intermission*giphy-13

*Takes a moment to straighten up….and we’re back!*

Lana: You fuck off, Frenchie! Nova likes them Eastern European, so I hear. So, MINE.

Alex: I’ve got Eastern blood alright, grandmother was Ukrainian.

Lana: Mmm hmmm. Sure she was. Lie whore!tumblr_o36f8ghAbO1s9b724o9_500Alex: I swear, you greedy hooker. Her name was Olga how more Eastern European you need?

Lana: Can you pick a more stereotypical Russian name? LMAO!

Kele: HEH!!

Alex: LMAO. It was really Olga. Lypinscisky something unpronounceable like all Eastern European names. I can’t even spell it right.

Lana: LOL.

Geri: This is what happens when you leave them alone for a sec, Kele

Alex: Shhh Geri. You just stay quiet in the background and try to take him off from us. I see your game, you silent sneaky hooker!

*Pause for another slap down because Geri is eyeing our man, I’m bringing my ninja moves out for this one!!!*C25ZwUX

*And we’re back*

Kele: LOL! As of right now, Nova likes all types. He doesn’t have a type. He just likes women.

Alex: See? All type! Me type.

Geri: *blows whistle* Okay let’s get back to the questions. Sheath your claws hookers


Lana: But let’s get back to Nova and Tino. Their relationship got a hell of a revelation in The Enforcer. How hard was this book to write for you? Because I spent a good chunk of it a sniveling pathetic mess, rocking myself in a dark corner.

Kele: It was a hard book to write. I cried a lot. I think that’s part of the reason it took longer.

Alex: Oh no you don’t! You made us all cried SO much!

Kele: It was a draining book. I knew a lot of Tino’s dark secrets, but writing them was a different story. Shining a light on it…

Alex: Seriously, I wonder how you could even write it. Tino felt like a family member, and man, the things he gets through.

Kele: Tino has a special place in my heart, as he was a character that was largely unnoticed as hero material in other books.

Geri: Yes.

Lana: Now some may not know that you decided to split Tino’s book into two. Let’s chat about that. I personally, for all my hate of cliffhangers, appreciate that you did that. That is one story that couldn’t fit into one book. Don’t you agree, Geri and Alex?

Alex: I agree. It doesn’t end up on a cliffhanger IMO. The cut is perfectly made it’s a new adventure starting.

Lana: It really doesn’t. I LOVE the way the book ends. LOVE.

Geri: I think some stories needed to be told in length.

Alex: I feel like The Enforcer part one, is the Making of Tino. So it felt right to cut it where you did.

Kele: Splitting… I started to realize that in order to tell the whole story, it had to be two books. It would be simply impossible for it not to be.

Geri: I agree.

Kele: I started finding myself trying to figure out how to cut entire plot lines that were essential to the overall plot, to fit it into one book but they were so vital!

And literally in the blink of an eye, while I was discussing it with my publisher, I realized I had a cutting point.

It popped right into my head. Whereas before I thought it was impossible.

Lana: They were. It’s like two sides of a coin. Book one is Tino’s beginning. Every page was vital IMO.

Geri: And we still have so many things to know about Brianna and Tino’s relationship that hasn’t been touched in this book.

Alex: Exactly, Kele, I honestly don’t know what you could leave out… Honestly everything had its importance

Kele: Yeah. And there were some very vital plot lines that are going to come out in the next book that I was going to cut, which now I don’t have to and I’m glad. They really were vital.

*Eh, what the hell, another hooker slap down intermission time*anigif_optimized-21025-1420580246-1-2

*And we’re back!*

Geri: let’s talk about the romance for a bit, since readers would have expectations about that part.

Kele: The romance. okay!

Alex: Let’s talk about romance then I’ll have a question about a, err… specific sex thing.

Kele: Okay. I can’t wait

Geri: Brianna and Tino met at a very young age and they have a lot of growing to do, how has Brianna shaped Tino’s decisions, his past, his future?

Kele: Well Brianna came into Tino’s life at a very critical time. And I truly believe not all aspects of their love, particularly in their younger years, is healthy.

Brianna and Tino share a connection instantly, but sort of by timing and confidence Brianna turns into Tino’s salvation in his mind. Coincidence not confidence. Lol!

Tino, quite literally worships her. More than once, he refers to her as his Madonna and that’s not flippant. To him it’s real.

Alex: He put her on a pedestal.

Kele: And Tino, through the course of his life, becomes a very dangerous person, though he is by far the nicest killer I’ve ever written. Tino is at his core a VERY nice man. But he is a killer and Brianna is his everything. That makes her dangerous, too.

Geri: Man, I can’t wait for book two, those two are going to light it up.

*Pause for another hooker slap down intermission because Geri is thinking about my other man*giphy-10

*And we’re back!*

Alex: Okay. So, inquiring pervy minds want to know… We talked privately about the fact that your son was redirecting you toward a “safe” version of Games of Thrones”, saying GOT was not a show for moms… lol. But we Hookers know better than that.

Geri: LMAO!

Alex: How do you come up with such level of rawness in your sex scenes? You’re obviously GREAT at it, I wanted to know how you wrote your sex scenes. How are they coming to you?

Lana: OH MAN, I know, right? Wowser!

Alex: Because, I’ve read a lot of smut, erotica, and I mean it: A LOT. But your sex scenes? As Lana would say, ‘GAWWWD’.

Kele: Sex scenes… Do not come easily to me.

Geri: Whaat??

Alex: Really? No way. Kele, you are an EXPERT

Geri: Woman, it doesn’t show at all because Jaysus…

Alex: But the buildup of said sex scenes is so GEEWWWD. And the result? Mind-blowing. Always

Geri: Yass!

Kele: And by that, I mean, I can sit down and write a scene, like say, the manscaping scene. That came very easily. That banter is so easy. Sex scenes take I’d say 5 times longer. I’ve had scenes that take me WEEKS I have to get the right feel. I’ll delete a lot.

Alex: Can we have the deleted parts? Just for us? LOL The scraps, I’d take them. I’m not too picky. Lol!

Kele: Like I’ll start writing it and think…no. Nope, that didn’t work, and just toss it and start over.LOL!

I think for the first sex scene with Chuito and Alaine in Slayer. I tossed out about 4 versions.

Geri: Oh man, their dance though.

Kele: Same with the first sex scene in Star Crossed (Battered hearts book 2).

Alex: Well, the work you’re putting into them is definitely showing. It’s way more than just sex. Your characters always feel SO connected. Because of all the build-up between them, the game they had on, the waiting.

Kele: But actually I have to say, Tino and Brianna were one of my easier couples to write. Sex wise though, usually Tino ends up going somewhere and doing stuff that I’m like… stop it! Cause Tino really doesn’t have limits. At all.

Alex: There are always breathtaking dance scenes in your books. I especially love how they serve as a medium to express your character’s emotions. How do you do to write such vivid performances, are you a dancer yourself? Or?

Geri: I loved that dance in The Slayer. You could feel their movements and passion across the pages. Oh my gosh. Those scenes make me blush.

Alex: Yes Geri, you can feel them dance, so true! Almost hearing the music

Geri: And the sensuality. Oh my, lawd!

Lana: YES, Geri! It’s so sensual. You can FEEL the chemistry in the pages. OMG it’s amazing.

Kele: I am a great admirer of dancers. I took a lot of dance classes when I was younger, but I’m a train wreck with dancing. I have zero grace.

But, I think because of that I like writing it. Writing dancing in books is a hard sell.

Alex: So definitely fantasy on your part! Well, you could have fooled me!

Kele: If anyone expects me to dance the bachata, they are gonna be so disappointed.

Alex: I also know from chatting with Eden Butler that you helped her writing some dance scenes for Ransom’s story, Thick Love.

Kele: I watched a LOT of videos and music plays a big role. I have certain songs that let me feel things, see things.

Geri: I’ve watched those videos too. *fans self*

Kele: Also, research…again, and I did talk to dancers, and students in performance college.

Alex: Can I say I love your Spotify playlists you had on for your books? Totally helps getting in the right mood for the scenes.

Kele: OH YAY! I love my Spotify lists too. HEH!

Alex: I’ve had a good revival listening to EVE, lol. And the Italian songs? I made Swissman crazy with them! “funiculi, Funiculaaaaa” I’m totally singing now.

Kele: Tell him I apologize.

Alex: Meh, he makes me listen to heavy metal early on the weekends. He deserves a little payback.

Geri: Lol!

Lana: Did you have a favorite part to write in Enforcer, Kele?

Kele: My favorite scenes in Enforcer…there’s a big chunk towards the end, but I enjoyed all of it.

Lana: I listened to one song in particular while rocking myself in a corner during one specific scene in Enforcer. Man, it was painful, but that song. GAH!

Kele: Yeah frown emoticon I know what song it is.

Lana: I will forever reference that song to this book, I swears.

Kele: LOL! I felt like we should just have a cue music part of that scene.

Lana: For reals

Kele: But, yes, there’s parts of the end that I liked writing. I think because at that point, it was their happily ever after. It was sort of poignant to me, because books end, but life keeps happening. If their book had been a New Adult book, I could’ve ended there and the reader might have believed they lived happily ever after if that makes sense.

So because Tino’s life in particular was so hard. I liked writing those parts. funiculi, Funiculaaaaa…HA! I put that on just now. you guys made me nostalgic for it.

Alex: It completely makes sense. You’ve built so much around them, around TIno, how can’t you wish an early HEA for him and Brianna… He’s tied to the mafia and can’t possibly ease out from this life that easily.

Kele: Plus, there’s some funny, male bonding parts I also enjoyed writing.



Lana: So how about a tough question now? You ever play Fuck, Marry, Kill? *grins evilly*

Geri: Oh naughty games.

Lana: Mmm hmmm *waggles brows*

Kele: Oh! yes…

Lana: If you had to pick a character to fuck, marry or kill from the entire series….spill!

Kele: Okay. . . Can I kill ANY character? LOL! Can it be a bad guy?

Lana: Totally. Anyone.

Alex: Lana, we would all know your choices…

Lana: I’d fuck Marcos, Marry Nova, and have no clue who I’d kill. LOL. W

Alex: I know who I’d like to kill but it’ll be a spoiler… For killing, it’ll be a woman.

Lana: AH. I think we’re thinking of the same person, Alex. Of the female variety *thinks murderous thoughts*tumblr_m8cn85Yfqo1rzryiwo1_500

Alex: And I won’t kill her clean. Wouldn’t. I mean she doesn’t exist right?

Lana: I’d kill that person so dead! Then bring back to life so I can kill all over again!!!

Geri: I’m curious who Kele would kill

Lana: YEP

Alex: Oh yeah.

Kele: Okay. Fuck–Nova. Marry–Tino. Kill–It’s a tossup, but they’d have the last name Brambino which will mean nothing to people who haven’t read the book.

Alex: Lol. I’ll fuck Nova. Marry Nova and kill whomever approaches Nova. *grins*

Kele: LOL!


Lana: Woman, we’re about to throw down again. We Russians fight dirty

Alex: Lana, there is no throw down. He is mine. I know I’m a little Ukrainian, hooker.

*As if there was ever any doubt….THROW DOWN INTERMISSION!!!*giphy-14

*And we’re back*

Lana: So you think, delusional woman *pets*

Alex: French know better.

Kele: As we saw in this book… Nova speaks French. lol!

Alex: Eh. My point, Kele, I know, I taught him to.

Lana: SHHHHHH don’t tell her that! She’ll never shut up about it.

Kele: LOL!

Alex: What do you want? The French charm, you know…

Lana: See?!! See what you did?! Thanks for reminding her, Kele. *grumbles*

Alex: We had long nights frenching each other up… *Sigh

post-29740-Ill-Cut-You-gif-knife-switchbl-K9lqLana: Har-har

Kele: Was he as good as I hear?

Geri: LMAO!

Alex: The best. I have no words…

Lana: *plans murder* So let’s wrap it up, shall we?ill_kill_you_office

Alex: Lol Lana. Yes, let’s, before I smack your ass again!

Kele: LOL!

Geri: LMAO!

*eh, what the hell, another hooker slap down to really drive the point home*tumblr_mgrbb3GvT91rrujdso1_500


Alex: Kele, you’re going to share some Enforcer exclusive excerpt with us Hookers, right?

Lana: I think that’s the perfect way to close this up. An enticing little excerpt.

Kele: Alright! Also…LOL! You gotta make sure my spelling doesn’t suck

Alex: Oh don’t worry, lots of edits to make (erasing Lana’s claiming of Nova.)

Lana: YOU FUCK OFF, you cheating whore!!

*Clearly another slap down intermission is needed* 1335371460_women_wrestling

*And we’re back*

Kele: That too

Lana: We triple edit. No worries. Lol

Geri: As always, we enjoyed talking with you

Alex: It was a pleasure chatting with you, Kele! Thank you!

Kele: Ditto! I had a great time. Thank you!

Alex: And thank you for reminding Lana’s about mine and Nova’s past experience. That’ll teach her.

Lana: LOL!

Kele: You never know, in the coming days, you could have competition for Nova. So enjoy it while you can.

Lana:  Yeah…thanks, Kele, LOL

Alex: Night Geri! (I think she’s sleeping. It’s 4 am for her).

Kele: Night, Geri!

Geri: Night, Hookers!


Well…us hookers barely survived that. Those slap downs are exhausting, but gotta protect my man from those thieving whores.

Want more? Read on for an exclusive excerpt form THE ENFORCER, releasing March 22, 2015. Make sure to add it to your GOODREADS TBR!


Tino pointed out to the dance floor. “That’s my sister that motherfucker brought with him!”
He didn’t have to say any more.Meilei tossed his bag at him, and he stormed into the crowd, shirtless, with his gun showing. Not too many people were paying attention anyway. It’d been about an hour since he got there, which meant everyone was already rolling their asses off.He snatched a glow pen out of a party girl’s hand, because she’d been writing on her boyfriend. Then he walked right up to Carina and caught her arm.She gasped, clearly in full defense for about two seconds before she yelled over the music, “Tino! What’re you doing here?”He was dealing for their father, but he didn’t explain it to her.Tino just leaned down and wrote on his sister’s forehead in big block letters that glowed under the black lights.MORETTI“If it says moron, I’m gonna be really fucked off!” Carina shouted at him. “Why are you coloring on me?”“Why are you here?” he screamed and then pointed to Dominic. “With him?”

“’Cause he said he knew the location!”

“You’re not allowed to go to raves!”

“Since when do I only do what I’m allowed to?” Carina shouted back at him.

Well, yeah, there was that.

He turned around and grabbed Brianna, making her gasp. She was wearing one of those low-cut V-neck shirts that Tino was sure Dominic really enjoyed. Dancers, for some reason, were way too comfortable in very little clothing. So he wrote it across her chest, from the slope of her left tit up to the right side of her collarbone.


In big, bold letters that glowed blue under the black light.

Brianna stared down at it and then looked at him. “What does this mean?”

“It means private property!” Tino looked at Dominic when he said it. “You’re leaving! Step out right now, or I’ll have you thrown out!”

Dominic shrugged. “Then you owe me twenty bucks.”

“For what?” Tino followed his line of sight to see him staring at the water bottle in Brianna’s hand. “Oh, you motherfucker.” Tino pulled his Beretta out and pointed it at Dominic. “Get out! I will fucking kill you! I swear to God!”

People screamed and backed up, but Carina and Brianna jumped forward and caught his arm, which was a really dumb, extremely naive thing for them to do. Fortunately, Tino and Nova had been practicing with Carlo for the good part of two years, and Tino wasn’t one to misfire on accident. In fact, he was pretty fucking sure he could put a hole right through the center of Dominic’s forehead.

“It’s okay!” Carina screamed at him. “We asked him to bring us! This is our fault!”

“Did you ask him to drug you?” Tino shouted at his sister without taking his eyes off Dominic.

“I took it!” Carina was still holding on to his arm. “I’m the one who took it! I wanted to.”

“You took E with Dominic Brambino around.” Tino cast a side glare at Brianna for that one, just quick enough to let her see how fucking disappointed he was in her. “He gave it to you so he could fuck you! He told me that’s why he gave it to you! He said he brought his own pussy! Who do you think that is, Bri? ’Cause it’s not Carina!”

“I didn’t take the ecstasy he bought,” Brianna assured him. “I’m not stupid. I just came to dance and make sure Carina stayed safe.”

“Who gave you the water bottle, then, if you’re so fucking street-smart!”

Brianna looked at the mostly empty water bottle in her hand and glanced back at Tino with wide eyes.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you,” Tino told Dominic, and he was dead serious about it, because the Brambinos had taken so much from him. Now that motherfucker was going to drug and screw Brianna just to piss him off. That felt like a murder worth going down for. “I just wanna kill you. I wanna put a bullet in your brain.”

“You know what will happen if you do that?” Dominic didn’t even look nervous about it. Like he was so fucking secure in his family’s control over Tino he was fearless in the face of Tino’s gun pointed at his head. “Is that a risk you’re willing to take?”

“What the fuck is going on?” Nova shouted before Tino could decide. “Valentino!”

“He drugged Brianna’s water,” Tino explained without lowering his gun. “And he gave Carina E.”

“Holy shit, why would anyone do that?” Nova made it sound like that was the worst possible combination he could think of. “Get him out!” Nova pointed at the door when the bouncers came up. “You let Carina in! The don would lose his fucking mind!”

“We didn’t let her in!”

“Well, she’s in here!” Nova threw up his hands in disbelief. “And this puttana tricked Tino into selling him E to give her. I can’t even fucking conceptualize what Carina is gonna be like on E. Now thanks to you motherfuckers, I get to find out!”

“You sell drugs?” Brianna asked him.

“I—” Tino put his gun back, because the bouncers grabbed Dominic real fast once the don was mentioned. “Yeah, sometimes. I sell them sometimes.”

“For the Borgata?” she asked in disbelief. “Do you like selling it?”

“This situation is awesome on so many levels.” Nova looked a little manic. “We have to leave. Right now.” Then he leaned down and got in Carina’s face. “Thanks for ruining my buzz, princess! This was one of my last weekends!”

“You ruined my buzz!” Carina shouted back at him. “I can’t do anything!” She pointed to her forehead. “This is my life! I’m gonna die a virgin because my family is psychotic, and everyone knows it!”

“Oh my God, is she fucking for real.” He turned around and walked toward the door shirtless. “I can’t deal with her princess problems.”

About the Author   A freckle faced, redhead born and raised in Hawaii, Kele Moon has always been a bit of a sore thumb and has come to enjoy the novelty of it. She thrives off pushing the envelope and finding ways to make the impossible work in her story telling. With a mad passion for romance, she adores the art of falling in love. The only rules she believes in is that, in love there are no rules and true love knows no bounds.

So obsessed is she with the beauty of romance and the novelty of creating it she’s lost in her own wonder world most of the time. Thankfully she married her own dark, handsome, brooding hero who had infinite patience for her airy ways and attempts to keep her grounded. When she leaves her keys in the refrigerator or her cell phone in the oven he’s usually there to save her from herself. The two of them now reside in Florida with their three beautiful children who make their lives both fun and challenging in equal parts–They wouldn’t have it any other way.

Hooker Line #3: ★Pet Peeves in Romance★


If there’s one thing that’s guaranteed when us hookers get together for a chat, is that it usually turns into a long ramble or rant…which lo and behold is exactly what happened with our pet peeves chat. But are you really that surprised about this? Of course you’re not. So I suggest you get some wine ready and hope you enjoy our recent rant/ramble session!


Lana: So? Pet peeves? Ready Hookers?
Alex: Yeah yeah, ready. Now or never.
Geri: Yeah I’m ready
Alex: I don’t have any pet peeves. I’m super easy. 😀
Geri: Hush
Lana:  HA!
Alex: eh, ’tis true. (I’ve just read an HR so bear with me. I have remnants of old English)
Geri: You hang out with us so you definitely have pet peeves! I have so many pet peeves
Alex: And here we go: Hookers on RANT, ACTION!
Lana: Since we were on the subject earlier, I HATE covers that don’t match the book. Like the cover model is blonde, but the hero is a brunette
Geri: Yes, I Hate that. It ruins the story
Lana:  Yes, I’m a picky bitch like that but dammit! Give me a nice visual! I demand satisfaction!
Alex: I don’t like it either. I need coherence.
Lana:  It totally ruins the effect for me because I’ll have a mental image of the hideousness as I’m reading
Geri: I’d rather not have a person there at all on the cover.
Alex: Or a naked chest because the genre is romance. I’m tired of nekkid chests

dea6bc4038c88b3c5180c778c44bc75aGeri: I’m not
Alex: Of course you would say that, whore!
Geri: That’s me.
Lana:  Umm…I can’t complain about nekkid chest. LOL! Though I remember Rebecca Zanetti’s Sin Brothers series had some hot covers and they weren’t even nekkid men chests. Fully clothed but still hot


Geri: So pet peeve one. You started it Lana. What else?
Lana:  Here’s my most recent one: COMPARISONS to other books in the blurb as marketing! OMG! Drive me batty!
Alex: I hate it when authors use this to advertise their book.
Lana:  You know what I’m talking about? When the blurb for the book will say, if you’re a fan of this author, or if you liked this book, this is similar to so and so book. Because they NEVER ARE! Like EVER
Geri: Yes, I know what you mean
Alex: Readers using this, I’m okay with it. But from authors or publishers? Hmm. no.
Geri: Exactly. Because readers are talking about their experience. From publishers, it gives readers the wrong expectations
Lana:  Like why would you do that? Then I’m FORCED to compare, and I’ll usually find it lacking. No. Just no. Stop it right now!
Geri: Or use other characters to market books “If you love Christian Grey…” Ha! Sorry but I don’t.
Alex: But see, Geri, it helped you NOT to pick the book!
Lana:  It’s like hey! Hey you! You ever been to Bahamas? Well, come on down to Bumfuck, Nowhere. We have a beach too. No, I will not go to Bumfuck, Nowhere. You fuck off with that!
Geri: If they have free massage on Bumfuck, I’d go.
Lana:  You’re a cheap whore, that’s why
Alex: And Geri, over a massage? Damn, hooker you are TOO easy. Cheap whore indeed
Geri: Hey! Don’t rain on my game. Plus, I’d kill for a massage right now.
Lana:  Sometimes I totally fall for it, too. Like I recently read a book that was compared to Corrupt. I was like, hell yeah! Bring on that fuckery! And then I read it and thought, WTF IS this fuckery?

Alex: But Corrupt was a WTF is this fuckery kind of books. But that’s just me.
Lana:  No one asked you, Alex! LOL! You just don’t like dark
Alex: I do like dark. Fan of horror. But dark romance often rhymes with stupid plot and stupid characters.
Lana: *la la la* I can’t hear you! There IS a line. There’s good Dark Romance and then there’s the poor imitation with gratuitous violence and unnecessary deaths.
Geri: But it’s so in the rage now. Like just throw in rape and murder and voila: dark romance.
Alex: Aren’t all dark romance books like that Lana?
Lana: Shut it! I like the dark romance dammit!giphy-8Geri: Wait, are we in Bumfuck now?
Lana: We digressed
Geri: Because Alex
Lana:  LOL
Alex: Always blame the Frenchy.


Alex: One of my worst pet peeves ever, is bad translation in books.
Google translate is NOT a reliable source for the love of my sanity! Quit that!
Alex: Author : Google translate is bad for you. So verra bad. I can’t even recall the number of times I’ve Dnf’d books because of it.
Lana:  I remember trying to read a book with a Russian heroine once, and she’s yelling at the hero (what the author thought was) “I don’t want to sleep with you”
But what she actually said was, “I don’t want to NAP with you”
Myeah….I DNF’d right around there
Geri: Lana, mafia books are notorious for wrong translations
Alex: If it’s a language I understand, then you can be sure if it’s badly translated, the MCs are going to lose all credit.
Geri: It’s the lazy way. Seriously.
Alex: I think authors use Google translate as the easy way. There are so many forums out there, where you can ask a REAL person. There’s a reader community.
Lana:  Post a FB update asking FFS
Alex: Some even don’t care, I’m sure. “Oh, my readers are Americans, they won’t notice if it’s badly translated”
Lana:  I truly don’t get it
Alex: I hate they would assume people are idiots.
Lana: Why take a language and completely butcher it? It’s insulting to the readers that speak the language IMO
Alex: it’s insulting to ALL the readers, in my opinion. Lack of research.tumblr_n1pxfh8Dw81s9b724o8_400Lana: And I’ve read some BAD translations.
Like one book meant had this: “My name is (xxx), this is my fiancée, and you’re about to die”
The actual translation was: “I (xxx), this is my groom (referring to a female), you has dead.” No joke. I will never forget it so long as I live. I actually CRINGED while reading that.
Geri: There is a way to do it without even translating everything. But it takes skill really. Some just put foreign words here and there to make their writing “authentic”. But if it’s all wrong…
Alex: Well, in that DARK ROMANCE BOOK… that I won’t name of course, the guy was a sex seller, he had a living at home slave… you know what book I’m talking about…
And the guy, supposedly from an aristocrat French family, all mighty, refined etc… was talking French like a 4 years old
Geri: OMG
Alex: And that’s even insulting to all 4 years old French kids. Character therefore looked like a retarded guy to me. I DNF’d the book. It was a trilogy.
Lana: Whoops? Pretty sure I loved that one LOL! Good thing I only speak Russian ahahaha
Geri: It’s very off putting
Lana: I think the only ones that EVER pulled off Russian correctly was Lexi Blake and Shayla Black
Geri: Which books?
Lana: It was their Perfect Gentlemen series. They actually took the time to use ACTUAL Cyrillic and not the English sounding version of it. I wanted to take a bow to them when I read that, lol!
Alex: Some authors really do proper research.
Take Diana Gabaldon. Perfect translations. But then, either you want to make it look right, or you just don’t care.
Geri: It takes a lot of effort. Not all are willing though


Alex: Ok, NEXT! What really can drive me nuts is…. Manufactured angst. Tension.
Geri: Explain or give us an example
Alex: When a whole book is based on a stupid misunderstanding. Hate this.
Lana:  UGH. YES
Geri: Yes
Lana: I’m just going to make the characters chase their tails up until 95% because….ANGST
Alex: In real life, it would be cleared out in seconds. But in books it serves as a PLOT and goes on for 300 pages. WHY?
Geri: And if they had talk it could have been solved but no. Let’s be dense and run away all the time. And no one wants to talk about it. But everyone just assumes things
Alex: The characters would spend time talking about stupid shit like the brand of their shoes, their car etc… (another pet peeve) and not take the time to talk about A HUGE secret that obviously is a problem. I don’t get it
Lana: Or it’s the same issue that gets brought up over and over and over and over. Enough already! I’ve already chewed it, swallowed, and defecating that issue as we speak. DROP IT
Alex: You and poop lately, LOL!
Lana: what? I’m just saying LOL
Geri: I hate angst where there’s this big secret. And everybody refers to it but no one talks about it.
Alex: I don’t get it.tumblr_n1w99ncVJX1s9b724o1_400


Alex: And this leads me to LOVE TRIANGLES. “Everyone, take a deep breath! There is a fucking lot to say.”
Geri: Booo
Lana:  *shudders* don’t say those words! It’s like Voldemort or Rumpelstiltskin. *covers ears*
Alex: Resulting of unspoken truths, misunderstandings: Love Triangles! Yay!
Geri: I love triangles… Kidding!
Alex: What really bugs me out is the heroine in that configuration. Gah! Either she looks like a greedy whore for stringing along 2 guys
Geri: What I hate more are the resolutions rather than the triangle itself.
Lana:  I hates love triangles with the fire of the worst kind of venereal disease. Honest to gawd. I can’t. I just can’t.
Geri: I avoid them.
Lana:  And the chick is almost always all wishy washy and leading both men on because she doesn’t want to hurt them. The whore!
Geri: And she has to be confused. Because it’s the rule, right?
Lana:  *flashback to Thoughtless*
*Rocks self in corner*
Alex: Shhhh Thoughtless, lol
Lana:  God that book drove me to drink. Put me off Love Triangles for YEARS after.
Geri: No but see she has to love the asshole, it’s the rule
Lana:  Or the easy fix where all of a sudden one of the men turns out to be an asshole….or better yet, gets killed off.tumblr_n1w904V5MK1s9b724o4_500Alex: “I can’t choose, I love them both. Oh never mind, the other one was an asshole from the start but I didn’t realize it soon enough”
Geri: The getting killed off part pisses me off
Alex: The parameters are always the same. ALWAYS
Geri: Taking Chances anyone?
Lana:  OMG OMG OMG! Don’t even say that title out loud
Alex: I haven’t read that one. *feels blessed*
Geri: Or the other series that everybody hates. Well not hate but the ending ruined it
Lana:  YES. I refuse to read it. So glad I waited for third book to be out so I knew to avoid altogether.
Geri: I know friends who still rage about the ending after all these years
Lana: I would have gone homicidal
Geri: Shout out to Lisa Jayne and Christy! They were traumatized
Lana: AHAHAHAHA! Poor Lisa Jayne. She was scarred for life
Alex: Which books?
Geri:The Erin Noelle one, I think.


Alex: What about specific.. er.. pet peeves…. You know… Bedroom Pet Peeves.
Geri: Special snowflakes. Not bedroom but, can we do away with Mary Sues already?
Lana: OMG the special snowflakes! Gag metumblr_nvtx08HwoP1s9b724o2_500Geri: I like them but not every freaking book has to have this type of heroine
My feelings for this are all over the place!
Lana: and ALL of them have the golden poosy! Have you noticed this?
Alex: The golden pussy is a requirement. The best they’ve ever had. Even manwhores with a mile long tallytumblr_nvtwh3aed11s9b724o8_500Geri: The heroine has to be clueless about the hero or else she’d be like other girls. Other girls being the “sluts”. Which is just annoying.
Lana:  omg the slut shaming. Makes me stabby! STABBY!
Geri: And the heroine of course had to be clueless and push the hero away because God forbid that she likes the hero already and wants him.


Lana: Can we talk about that double standard for a second here? Why is the hero always manwhoring around and the heroine is always cooling her ovaries in the land of zero cocks. Why?
Geri: Because that would make her like the “other girls”. Duh.
Alex: Yeah, we need Hooker books. With original hookers. Own your pussies, ladies!
Geri: It’s leading up to that
Lana:  Like look here, hooker! You probably got cobwebs at this point. At least air that shit out a little. Get a little boob action. Go on a date! LOOK at a penis. You don’t have to touch it or anything.

cab0b14f4b3846a6626ba2a35eb149c751fae5ed7b070c6d9f9a26ced4e2ea0dAlex: Not even a sex toy because that would still be having a sexual life
Geri: I hate it because the hero can fuck anyone he likes and the heroine has to pine away. PINE!!
Alex: Maybe the clueless heroine has remnants over the whole romance genre.
Lana:  So this asshole left me 12 years ago, I’m just gonna go celibate because….reasons. Oh look! He’s back! *takes ovaries out of isolation*
Geri: I hate it. Like do men really prefer women like that? The clueless ones?
Lana:  I’m not saying have the heroine shutting it up around town but c’mon!
What’s that? You slept with another man during your 2 year break up with the hero? You WHORE! Are we back in the 60s or some shit? There’s nothing wrong with a healthy sex life. Quit with the slut shaming. It’s seriously perpetuating a stereotype.
Alex: At this point it’s just a matter of taking vows to god and entering a conventtumblr_n3vqaxExtn1rdutw3o1_400But let’s get back to clueless kind of heroines. You know… The virgins.
Lana:  Ah yes. The clueless special snowflakes
Alex: I could understand a Historical with a clueless virgin… But a contemporary with a clueless virgin? HOW? You no have Internet? Google that shit, lady!tumblr_nvtwocdDSA1s9b724o7_250Geri: I don’t mind virgins. As long as her motivation for staying one isn’t because she’s pining for the hero.
Lana:  I DO. I’m so over the freaking virgins. Unless we need to do a virgin sacrifice for the sake of a good book, lay off the virgins!
Geri: And being a virgin shouldn’t make her special. Or more worthy of the hero’s affection. That’s my objection to Virgin heroine storyline. It’s the hero’s reaction to it. Like she’s somehow special because she’s a Virgin. Tthey shouldn’t be prized above other girls because of their virginity.
Alex: well of course the hero would be pleased to conquer a virgin territory. Pfff
I don’t mind the virgins per se, just the clueless ones.
Lana: I don’t mind them in YA or NA, so long as they’re not special snowflakes
Geri: LOL!

Alex: But the clueless ones in contemporary storylines, “ooooh why is your male sword so hard? And why do my “nether” regions feel so damp right now?” Is it still possible for a woman or a teenager even to not KNOW how the human body.
Lana:  Nope. We don’t have health class.
Geri: Not possible. Unless you live in Timbuktu. No offense to Timbuktuians
Lana:  Can you find a 27-year-old virgin? No seriously? I understand if this was YA or even NA. But when we’re talking past the age of 25? Really?
Geri: I can.
Alex: I think we can, Lana, virgins age 25 and more. it’s not what is bothering me. They can be virgins, but don’t act like you’re out of some Historical Romance, or you’ve been sheltered from boys your whole life!
Geri: Or they don’t know how we make babies?
Lana:  Look, I was traumatized for life after that shit. We watched a baby born “au naturel.” I had nightmares for months after. I got cold sweat flashbacks to that video when I was pregnant LOL
Alex: I closed my eyes the whole time, lol. And I was terrorized I would have to pop my kid out years later. Thank fuck for C-sections.

Lana: oh and then the switch is flipped and they go from virgin to sex pro it 3 thrusts flat!
all of a sudden it’s “I’m gonna swallow” and “bring on the anal”.I ask you? Who swallows on their first time?!
Geri: Special snowflakes with special swallowing powers?
Alex: When virgins are made sex professionals in one night. Seriously.
Lana:  I mean, let’s be real. If the guy that took my v-card wanted anal afterwards, I would have told him to go poke a pencil sized hole in a wall and go to towntumblr_n498pmJhb81s9b724o5_400Alex: LOL! Or worse even, when they get 10 orgasms on their first night. bitches
Geri: 10 orgasms is nothing.
Alex: Wait you’ve read MORE?
Geri: I read one book where the heroine came 12 times. In one night.
Alex: But was she a virgin?
Lana: 12?! I think my vagina just clenched in sympathy.
Alex: It clenched because you’re a whore!
Lana: Could she even walk the next day?

awkward-Mulan-walk-home-GIFGeri: She wasn’t a virgin but she’s been on ice I think. But seriously!
Lana:  Ha! She’d need the ice AFTER.
Geri: That calls for an emergency room visit.
Lana: I mean the chafing! The chafing! ouchiestumblr_n58fyeIJDH1s9b724o2_r1_500Alex: Oooh ohh another thing in bed that annoys me in romance books. THE PILL TALK or the I’m clean she’s clean convos. And of course they would have health reports handy. Like I’ve got mine in my purse every time I’m going out for drinks. You never know, right?
Geri: But you have to trust him. He always uses a condom with other girls…*roll eyes so hard*
I like how Linda Howard does it. The pill talk I mean.
Alex: How does Linda Howard does it?
Geri: They have the talk prior to even being in bed. Because her characters are mature and talk about it.
Alex: That would make sense… but for the spontaneous moments?
Geri: The heroine always mostly steps back and take control.
Lana: YES. I think I see a LH re-read in my future.
Alex: I mean I get it, it’s part of sex life, but handing out health reports just because the MCs don’t want to use a condom on a casual fuck? Hmm that’s not safe sex anymore. I don’t see the point. You don’t know the guy, make him wear a condom.tumblr_n498t0O48e1s9b724o5_500Lana:  here’s a big one for me: The Magic Peen.
Alex: hey the magic peen just makes the expression “fuck some sense into someone” more real
Geri: “Anything longer than 8 inches is strictly for show and tell”
Alex: lol, love that quote Geri.
Lana:  Come one, come all! Have emotional issues? Stick it in! BAM! Cured!
Have psychological issues? Definitely stick it in! BAM! REALLY cured!
Have sexual issues? Bitch, you’re seriously overdo for the sticking.
Alex: Reminds me of a certain Lord of the Manor, Lana.
Lana:  AHAHAHAHAHA! *shudders*
Alex: *Sigh* Lana, most of my romance reads are still like that.
Geri: The magic peen and the magic pussy take your pick.20160308143700Alex: I don’t get it why some authors feel the need to over exaggerate everything. I’m fine with “normal” sex lives. Normal sex is good.
Geri: I get that it’s fantasy but it’s overkill.
And it ends up not being sexy.
Can you imagine how she must have walked after that 12 orgasms?
Alex: Don’t even get me started on dick sizes. Why mention it at all? If it doesn’t have something to do with the story or a character’s personality. I don’t need to know he’s 10 inches long.tumblr_nmbeq7BMyb1s9b724o2_500Lana:  You don’t like Godzilla cock, Alex? But why?
Alex: Because I’m not a whore like you. Baby steps.
Lana:  LMAO!
Geri: I keep thinking about how the hero and heroine go at it without worrying about the wet spot on the bed.
Alex: Nooo because the guy always gets back from bathroom with a wet and warm cloth and takes care of the leak. He does it because he cares. “romance me you big guy with your warm and wet cloth”.
Geri: LOL *cries*
Alex: Or he wears condoms but only because they forgot the “I’m clean / she’s clean” convo.
Geri: Coz my husband and I just resort to rock, paper, scissors about who gets to sleep on the wet spot. What? No one does this? Just us then …
Alex: LMAO *Dying*
Actually yeah, I make Swissman change the sheets, I can’t with the wet spot.
Arguing about it even. He says : “Your fault, you couldn’t keep it in”
Geri: Ahaha! We’re too lazy!
Alex: I say : “Your fault you have to get it out.” So… yeeah. Errr.
Geri: *Dies* LOL!
My mission is to try to find a book where the hero and heroine argues to gets to sleep over the wet spot
Alex: LMAO. Kristen Ashley mentioned the wet spot in Sebring I think… or was it Walk Through Fire? But they didn’t really argue about it.


Lana: Subject change. Here’s a huge pet peeve… I can’t with emotional issues and sex.
Geri: Why? Tell me and our followers.
Lana:  I read a book where the heroine had some serious issues. Like sexual abuse past… But what she was really concerned about was being able to have sex. Because once she had good sex? Issues gone. I mean…for reals?tumblr_ntt0hwSWHp1s9b724o8_500Geri: Wait wait. I’ve loved books where the heroine wanted to have orgasms and the hero was able I give it to her
Lana: see, but that’s different,
Geri: I’ve enjoyed them but the heroines actually have a life. And they’re not consumed by it
Lana: I’m talking about REAL emotional/mental health issues.
Geri: I think I know what you’re talking about.
Lana:  I like the concept of the heroine thinking that the hero is the best in bed of all that’s she’s had. But please don’t let it be the cure for deeper issues. Please! Magic Peen cure. *shudders*
Alex: It also sends a wrong message to some readers.
Lana:  I mean not having an orgasm is different, you know? I didn’t have one till I met my husband. Come to think of it, that may be why I married him
Geri: Good on you.
Alex : Revelations night. Happening right here, Ladies!
Lana: LOL!
during sex, I mean. Not like…at all
Geri: LOL!
Lana:  Dude, I’d be homicidal if I didn’t have one at all!
Lana:  oh you know what I mean!
Alex: Congrats to your man, Lana!


Geri: Which leads us to another pet peeve: mental issues.
Alex: uh oh…
Geri: Mental issues that just gets cured because reasons. Or the characters don’t believe in therapy
Alex: Hmm don’t remember ever reading those.
Geri: I hate using mental illness as a plot device. It’s my pet peeve.
Lana:  ah yes. The mental issues that most often get glossed over.
Geri: I get that in real life stuff like that happens but respect it enough to actually do something about it. Don’t gloss it over.
Alex: I only read the Cara McKenna one…I think.
Geri: But that’s different since they both worked there although they do have issues.
Alex:  Oh you mean they use it as a plot, like it’s the focus of the book then they get rid of it in the name of true love or good fuck with magic peen? There are books like that?
Geri: Like for example, there’s a very popular book that the hero is bipolar. I’m gonna get heat for this but Real by Katy Evans.
Alex: Oooohh I’ve read this one. Indeed, I know exactly what you mean.
Geri: I’m sorry but you do not treat mental illness like that. I know I will get a lot of hate for this because so many people loved that book but it’s a great example of mental illness being cured by the magic pussy.
Lana: Agreed. I liked that book, but that part really made me cringe. It feels like you’re glossing over a major issue.
Geri: It’s very problematic because he rejected therapy and medicine because he doesn’t want to poison his body. Like what???
Lana:  And so anyone WITH those issues may feel like they’re seriously screwed up if they don’t deal with it in the same blasé matter, know what I mean?
Geri: Exactly Lana.
Alex: Especially on subjects like these, Lana.
Lana:  I read a book with bipolar heroine and it was written in such a blasé and flippant way, it was unreal.
Like “yeah, I tried to kill myself, but such is life.” Really? I mean, c’mon! *headdesk*
Geri: I personally know people with these issues and it’s just so wrong to be treated in such a blasé manner. It’s also irresponsible.


Alex: Moving on from the heavy subjects with a rather… strange pet peeve of mine…
Geri: Let’s hear it.
Alex: The over achingly sweet HEA… (don’t shoot) Or even the epilogue part.
Geri: Noooooooo! Take it back!
Alex: LOL
Geri: I love sweet HEA.
Lana:  Dude. I do, too.
Alex: I truly prefer HFN endings
Geri: I’m okay with HFN. But I don’t seek them out!
Alex: I don’t need to know they’re going to be married have 3 kids and a dog…. I don’t really, and sometimes it’s just so overdone.
Geri: Oh yea some are overkill.
Alex: Now I did enjoy some HEA… (I have Kristen Ashley in mind.) but mostly I don’t care for them
Lana: Nothing beats a KA epilogue. NOTHING.
Geri: Agreed. There’s something about them.
Lana: I don’t care if they’re filled with cheese. I cry like a baby and love every sentence. You’re just a cynical whore, Alex LMAO!
Geri: Lol, that she is.
Alex: Hey, fuck off now, I said I did enjoy KA ones.
Lana: But agreed, it definitely CAN be overdone.
Alex: Okay so basically we all just agreed but Alex is a cynical whore. I see how it is with you Hookers. Blame it on the Frenchie. AGAIN.


Lana: Dating for two months? It’s twu wuv! Let’s get married and I’ll knock you up. NO
Alex: You know Lana, it annoys me especially in insta-love stories.
Lana:  Insta-love and too quick relationships with that sort of HEA is too much.
Geri: Now non HEA on the other hand… Can fuck off.
Lana:  Meh. I met my quota of one non-HEA book for the year. Otherwise, nope. nope. nope. HELL NOPE
Alex: Non-HEA I don’t mind that much. Really if the story was good… It has romance in it. I can live with it.
Lana:  I get what you mean, Alex. I totally agree with you on that.
Geri: I have read too many books like that in the past. I don’t like it when they’re categorized as romance. Fiction or general fiction, fine but romance?
Lana: Cara McKenna handles it the best. I love her HFNs
Geri: I agree. She writes the best HFNs.
Alex: Cara McKenna is my drug of choice. l Love her stories because of this, Lana. Her stories seem so real. The HFN helps a lot.
Alex: Hmm mmm, Geri needs her sweet HEA! 😉
Geri: I do. Life is depressing enough as it is.


Alex: What about flowery wording to describe human anatomy in romance?
What was the worst you’ve ever read?
Geri: Hate. It doesn’t even have to be describing an anatomy I just hate purple prose. With a passion
Alex: Purple prose, you mean the constant analogies / poetry to describe everything?
Geri: Yes. Purple prose in general drive me insane. Like describing the rain would take one chapter instead of one sentence. Or the color of the leaves.
Alex: And genitals analogies can really make me laugh sometimes. I ‘m okay with calling it what it is. Authors, don’t get too creative about this, please.
Geri: Agree.
Alex: one that truly put me off once was the “Man Meat” to describe a dick.
Lana:  Meat sword doesn’t do it for you?giphy-9Alex: Anything “meat” to describe a cock is a turn off.
Geri: Yes, and so disrespectful to vegetarians and vegans everywhere
Alex: LMAO!
Geri: I mean seriously. What if your reader is a vegan? You just got DNF’d!
Alex: Only time they would eat meat though. It’s a fantasy somehow, no?
Geri: But it’s soo…*shudders*
Alex: This reminds me an author compared a dick to an eggplant once. So… yeah.
Geri: LOL!
Alex: Put me off eating eggplants ever again.
Lana:  AHAHAHAHA *cringes* and on that note…. This is getting quite lengthy.
Alex: YOU would say that. Whore.
Lana:  AHAHAHA ! Quit that! lol
Geri: But in all seriousness. Sometimes I still enjoy books with a lot of pet peeves
Lana:  that’s very true. It all depends how it’s pulled off.
Geri: I think it has to do with the skill of the author.
Alex:  I can overlook some. I’m not THAT picky
Lana: *checks outside for flying pigs*
Alex: shut up. I’m not. I have exigencies while you are just easy. But then you are a whore so…
Geri: Sometimes it’s also my mood.
Alex: Mood plays a huge part on what I can take or not.
Geri: I get into a mood where I hates everythings.
Lana:  Total mood reader here.
Alex: So many parameters. Authors sure can’t please everyone.
Geri: They can’t. I know there are a lot of readers out there who would love every single pet peeve we talked about.
And that perfectly fine. We’re all different.
Alex: Especially Lana. Right?
Lana:  *glares*tumblr_nxx3ajC7Ii1s9b724o6_500

Hooker Line #2: ★Out-Hookered by Brooke Blaine★


Did you know that Brooke Blaine is releasing book 2 in her super fabulous L.A. Liaisons series, eloquently titled as HOOKER? So of course it’s only right that us hookers had to get her sassy ass for an interview on our blogs, #HookerLineStyle of course. It’s the only way we know how. We went into this hoping to out-perve Brooke, and she ended up out-hookering us. My mind is still reeling after. We chat all things Hooker, her LA Liaisons series, nude pics, Tom Hardy, Jason Statham, Tom Hardy peen, high school crushes, kinks with suspenders, and much much more. But why tell you about it, when you could read it for yourself. Make sure you scroll all the way down for an exclusive interview AND a super fabulous giveaway for a chance to win a SIGNED PAPERBACK of Licked and an ARC of HOOKER!

No, this wasn’t your typical fucking interview. It was a fucking awesome interview though! So read below and enjoy!

*no real hookers were harmed in the making of this conversation. But our hooker pride may have gotten a bruise or two*

Lana: Hey hookers!

Brooke Blaine: I’m prepared. Lube, check. Condoms, check. Whipped cream, check.

Alleskelle: Hey Hookers! Good, Brooke, we only practice safe sex here.
Though you might need some other kind of toys to please Lana… (The hardcore stuff)

Geri: Yay! I’m ready when you are guys. Hi Brooke!
We haven’t been properly introduced but I’m Geri and I’m the innocent one in the group.
Shut it, Lana and Alex

Alleskelle: RIGHT. You lie whore! “Innocent.” Such a bad word in your mouth
Geri: LMAO! Nuh-uh. I’m a proper lady. ahem. Ladies in the front, party in the back

Brooke Blaine: Oh gawd. Don’t start with the miss innocent schtick, you’re the HOOKER LINE LADIES.
WELL/ maybe not ladies 😉

Alleskelle: Geri, do I need to remind you? YOU started the anal talk last time and blamed it all on Lana (Though I understand the logic in this)

Lana: LMFAO!!!!!!! I leave for two seconds and it’s already “lube” and “Lana is a whore” : I see it’s regularly scheduled programming here.

Alleskelle: We’re perfectly respectable Ladies still, Brooke. Well maybe not Lana.

Brooke Blaine: I know the truth about Lana


Lana : I already warned Brooke I’ll be throwing out random pervy ice cream names for her
Like Cockies and Cream. Make it happen!

Brooke Blaine : Yes! I need some dirty names

Geri : Hmm, love the sound of that.

Brooke Blaine : Oh is that the best you can do? I expected more from you, perv. I told you I brought the lube right?

Lana : I’m just warming up here

Alleskelle : How did you came up with the hilarious names in Licked, Brooke?

Lana : Yes. Do tell. Inquiring hookers want to know!

Brooke Blaine : Quite literally pulled them out of my ass. Like anal beads.

Lana: You dirty bird. No wonder I like you! LOL

Alleskelle: OMG. We’re being Out-Hookered here! She plays hard


Geri : We need to step up our game. I haven’t read it but just so you know I don’t mind spoilers

Brooke Blaine: What? I should go back to my trailer. You didn’t bring me green m&m’s, you didn’t read my book
This is bullshit.

Geri: LMAO! I sorry?

Lana : You’re missing out, woman! I keep telling you

Alleskelle: Geri you have to read it, I mean are you not curious about what a Cookie Dildough is? The Up the Butt-er Pecan is my fave.




As the owner of Licked, an eclectic ice creamery and bar, Ryleigh Phillips doesn’t have time for that love stuff. Serving up Nibble My Nuts sundaes and Drunken Sailor boozy shakes are as close to an orgasmic affair as she’s had in months thanks to her expanding empire—until the night of her ten-year high school reunion.

When Ryleigh’s crush, gorgeous ex-football god Cameron Mathis, comes streaking into her life (literally—streaking), she begins to wonder if she really can have it all.

Wouldn’t it just figure that the moment you think life is perfect is when it falls spectacularly apart?

Enter Hunter Morgan, the contractor in charge of Licked’s renovations. Devastatingly handsome, and a smartass to boot, he’s got his eyes on Ryleigh from the moment he finds her passed out on his couch (yeah, that’s a long story). There’s just one tiny complication—he happens to be Cameron’s best friend.

When the lines between relationships and friendships blur, and it’s impossible to choose between two delicious flavors, what’s a girl to do? Taste a sample of each? Or go out and get LICKED?


Geri : They’re suppose to be convincing me but the blurb sounds like a triangle. For all those pervy readers like me who don’t like Love Triangles, should we be worried?

Alleskelle : I don’t like love triangles either and it worked for me, Geri.

Lana : Me too! And I hate LT with the fire of the worst kind of venereal disease. #TrueStory

Alleskelle : lol Lana. You said you were game for everything, you hardcore perv!
Geri, rest assured, while the heroine does have 2 love interest after her, the set up is pretty clear about who she’s going to end up with

Lana : YES! And she wasn’t the wishy washy whore that led men on because she felt bad

Brooke Blaine : Noooooooo! I promise I just did that to scare you.

I mean we all loved the Dylan-Brenda-Kelly love triangle in 90210, LET’S BE REAL.


Lana Kart : Brooke, for hookers like Geri here that have been living under a rock, can you introduce your L.A. Liaisons series?

Geri : Yes, please. Lol!

Brooke Blaine : Okay, so L.A. Liaisons stars our quirky heroine, Ryleigh, who at the beginning of the story has a nice little run-in *cough cough* with her high school crush.

And yeah, then she meets high school crush’s bff/roommate and all bets are off, BUT I promise Licked is more of a romcom that makes your heart melt. It doesn’t require tums.

Geri : Ah glad to hear that. You said the magic word. Romcom

Alleskelle : Oh yes, it’s a great RomCom and I loved the premise, old school crush finally seeing HER.

Lana : Gotta say, I loved the way they see each other again (uhem) … while NAKED

Brooke Blaine : Right? All about the cock run-ins

Lana : best EVAH

Brooke Blaine : Aw spanks. I mean it’s how I’d love to run into my high school crush

Geri : Plus you said the word naked… Naked romcoms !

Brooke Blaine : Unless he had a teeny weenie, in which case… Maybe not

Geri : LMAO!

Alleskelle : In which case you’d know you would have pinned for him all for nothing… awww

Brooke Blaine : ~fantasies dashed~


Geri : Sadly, my high school crush… Yeah not going there.

Brooke Blaine : Wait, what if we wanna go there?

Lana : Yeah…I kinda do lol

Alleskelle : Oooh, high school crushes… I used to draw a blank about them. But a few weeks ago we were talking with Geri and she mentioned stalking her exes on social media. o.O

Geri : Are we going to talk about high school crushes? hahahaha! Thank God, my husband doesn’t read it.

Brooke Blaine : I’m so curious now

Lana : Mine was a douchebag.End of story. Hmm…I wonder if there’s any correlation to me loving the alphaholes in my books? *scratches chin*

Ha! Is that where the inspiration for Ryleigh came from?

Geri : I’m interested if Brooke has an inspiration for this. Oh yeah. That’s what Im asking Lana. I’m curious!

Brooke Blaine : You know what? I blossomed after high school, so when my crushes saw me years later, they were ALL ABOUT IT. That denied stamp felt good. A bit. I had an awkward high school experience. I was a theater kid and everyone thought I was shy and quiet…”the nice girl.” I went to church a lot.

Lana : From what I recall she didn’t come into her own skin till after high school.

Shy AND quiet? Boy did they get that one wrong, huh?

Brooke Blaine : And, like I said, I didn’t come into my own until college. So like Ryleigh in that way
Dude you’re not kidding, I guess I was kind of that way. I don’t know what happened. Someone must’ve scandalized me.

Geri : I went through this phase too Brooke so I can relate.

Alleskelle : I was part of the quiet solitary ones too. Well I mostly used to hang out with the guys.

Lana: I was the same way. Would you believe I was the quiet girl that everyone thought was a bitch because I rarely talked
then senior year happened and BAM !

Alleskelle : It’s kind of the best reward. Just like what happens to Ryleigh in Licked. Never part of the “cool” kids, (but truly she was) and being brushed off by the guys at school, only to rub it in their faces later.

Brooke Blaine: Hell yes, Alex!
No way, people thought Lana was a bitch? Shocking. Utterly shocking. 😉
Geri, would you say you’re a 180 now of who you were back then?

Geri : Not really. I’d say I was already who I am but I wasn’t as comfortable in my skin back then. So I kept my mouth shut. Didn’t rock the boat much. But in my head…oh boy!

Alleskelle: It is TRUE what they say about the quiet girls. Or at least they are as freaks as the slutty ones lol

Brooke Blaine : ^^NO ONE would guess I write erotica sometimes. I kind of wish I could blast out that info. Maybe I will
Do you guys still find that if you see people from high school that the awkward girl from then comes back?

Lana : Not really. I became an opinionated smart ass. I dunno how to shut that off! LMAO

Alleskelle : Why would you want to shut it off? And yes, the awkward still comes through depending who I’m talking to.

Brooke Blaine : Yeah, don’t shut that off or you can’t sit with us.

Geri: On Wednesdays we wear pink.

Brooke Blaine : LOL! Geri, I’ve seen what you read, so that sounds about right 😉

Geri : Sometimes. Right? hahaha

Lana : And I was always a closet perv… le sigh

Alleskelle : *closet* LMAO!

Geri : No secret there

Brooke Blaine : Your husband must be a happy man, Lana

Lana : He’s worse than me, Brooke…so I dunno. We try to outsmart ass each other, keeps it lively.

tumblr_nynu1gjmcF1s9b724o3_500Lana : Now back to business, let’s talk about your upcoming book, because….HOOKER! DUDE. Can I just say I LOVE that title?

Brooke Blaine : Hell yes! You like the name, no?

Lana : Fitting. I was all, she wrote a book about ME?! LMAO

Geri : We all do!

Alleskelle : The name is PERFECT! Verra fitting

Brooke Blaine : Well, I’ve called my friends that for years, so…
It totally fits. Plus she’s a matchmaker, not a LITERAL hooker, so… there’s that

Geri : Shut it! I love matchmaker stories! It’s my catnip. Well one of…

Brooke Blaine: Oooh maybe Geri will read this one… Someone tie her down and make her

Geri : I already promised these hookers I will read Licked. Or else

Lana : She HAS to read the first one It sets up the second one

Brooke Blaine : So Hooker is a standalone, which means you don’t HAVE to read Licked, but YOU FUCKING SHOULD…

Lana : Totally fucking should

Alleskelle : You definitely should! Hunter was really dreamy. Sexy. Rough… and gah, just read it already!

Brooke Blaine : mmmm I love Hunter…
And it centers on the Aussie transplant in the bunch, the fabulous Shayne Callahan
Whose boss is a psycho from hell. She’s fabulous to write. I kind of want a Val book honestly

She’s so much fun to write. It’s like I can turn off my filter completely and just say the most horrible stuff. It’s fantastic.

Lana : I loved Shayne!

Brooke Blaine : But I’m loving Shayne’s guy now too… You like guys in suspenders, right?

Alleskelle : Only in suspenders?

Geri : Hahahaha! You read my mind Alex! ( I’m going to Amazon, talk amongst yourselves, kids)

Brooke Blaine : Well they have to attach to SOMETHING

Alleskelle : …to socks? ^^

tumblr_lz02m1KZTs1qa9vqgo2_250Alleskelle : I had wished we’ll get more Quinn first but… Shayne will do. lol

Lana : Quinn is the mysterious Ukrainian

Brooke Blaine : Omg you’re on the Quinn train too? You sound like Lana

Alleskelle : I LOVED Quinn. Huge girl crush. And Lana is only projecting because she’s east european too.

Lana : I bet that Hooker is a spy or something

Brooke Blaine : Quinn is coming last out of the foursome because YOU ALL WANT IT AND I’M AN ASSHOLE. You’re welcome.

Lana : You whore! Teasing whore! I knew you’d do that!

Brooke Blaine : Geri went quiet, I think she really did go to Amazon. #peerpressurerocks

Alleskelle : Ok, no Quinn. Who wants that hooker anyway? (I’m trying the reverse psychology method here)

Geri : Ha! Too late Alex

Brooke Blaine : You know what…it’s Ella Frank’s fault.

Lana : WHAT?!!!

Alleskelle : Why? What did she do?

Brooke Blaine : She told me to make the person everyone wanted be last. And I thought it would be Paige that people wanted.
But nope. You guys said Quinn. So I switched it

Alleskelle : Nooooo! I hate Ella Frank all of sudden. Authors are really EVIL

Brooke Blaine : MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA <—evil laugh

Lana: I totally want Paige. I lied! Lied I tells ya! (is it working?)

Alleskelle : (I think not)

Brooke Blaine : Well, I can’t really make you cry with these books, so I have to do SOMETHING to piss you off

Lana: bah. Well back to Hooker, tell us more ! like….is there a meet cute? There has to be a meet cute?

Brooke Blaine : Hmm what can I say… oh i LOVE LOVE LOVE their meet cute

Lana : Is anyone going to be naked during that? (Cause they totally should)

Brooke Blaine : more than Ryleigh and Hunter’s maybe… And um… yes, there is a degree of nakedness.

Lana : How large a degree? : On a scale from one to peen? I like these naked meeting ‘nice to peen you’

Geri : On a scale of one to Tom Hardy, how naked?

Alleskelle : Another naked meeting? Like it’s going to be a regular occurrence for them all? (Please say yes.)

Brooke Blaine : bahahaaa! wait is that implying Tom Hardy is always naked?
I promise not all meet cutes will be naked ones.

Geri : Did you guys see that? Woman, did you not see his latest video?

Lana : There’s Tom Hardy peen? Your hooker ass has been holding out on me!

Alleskelle : Lana wake the fuck up. There IS. It’s all over my FB feed.
I saw the blurry version, Geri. Now, do YOU have a link to the REAL thing? Because that would prove your innocent bullshiting.

Brooke Blaine : Wait, what? Why are you holding out on us??

Geri : LMAO! I plead the fifth

Alleskelle : You should just plead guilty, you perv! She hides behind that sweet librarian look. But we know better.

Brooke Blaine : Okay, Geri is the tease in the group, that much is blatantly obvious. The glasses don’t fool us.

If I google Tom Hardy’s cock, and I get a virus on my computer and it destroys my Hooker manuscript…well, you guys will help me hide Geri’s body, right?

tumblr_nxx3ajC7Ii1s9b724o8_500Lana : What’s a hooker for? Of course! But clearly we got distracted again
What else can you tell us about her love interest? I’m desperate here!

Brooke Blaine : Oh, sorry sorry! Okay, here’s another bit for you: Shayne *may* be rockin’ the cradle in this book
slightly 😉 You don’t mind younger guys, right?

Alleskelle : How much younger? How old is Shayne again?

Brooke Blaine : Not much. Within five years-ish. She’s 28? 29? 28? Shit, don’t ask me hard questions

I don’t mind the age gap. Even if it’s reversed. Like older woman, younger guy

Alleskelle : Meh, that’s nothing

Geri : It’s a math question too. Don’t scare off our guest

Lana : 5 years I can handle. Anything over 15 makes me a tad uncomfortable tho. Don’t ask me why

Alleskelle : Lana the more and more you talk, the more I discover even YOU have hard limits. I is shocked.
So he is 22-ish and he wears suspenders.

Brooke Blaine : Yeah, he has to be above the drinking limit. I couldn’t handle it if he couldn’t go to a bar.

Geri : Yes. What would they do?

Brooke Blaine : Exactly, Geri. What do you do with someone under twenty-one? Go play miniature golf or something?

Geri : So not J-Lo’s Casper Smart level, Right?

Brooke Blaine : Okay stop it. Casper is so not cute. Wtf is going on there. That was my favorite movie growing up. I even had Casper soap.

Lana : How did we get on the subject of Casper here?

Geri : Because that’s how I scale now. Like from 1 to Jlo-Casper Smart

Alleskelle : I think Geri was talking about J-Lo’s boyfriend or something

Brooke Blaine : Well, I turned it to the ghost because he’s way more adorable than Casper Smart
if that’s really his name

Lana : I was thinking of the friendly ghost variety. Clearly I’m not on the up and up with celebrity gossip

Brooke Blaine : Lana – celebrity gossip plays a huge part in Hooker. And that’s all I can tell you about that.


Alleskelle : What else? Come on, spill!

Brooke Blaine : Dimples.

Alleskelle: Tell me he has at least a mild kink. Like nice guy but freak in the bedroom. *Dreamy eyes*

Brooke Blaine : I can’t give you all my secrets, woman!!

Alleskelle : Ooooh, did I put my finger on it??? He’s a freak! Yes!
So her man is a celebrity?

22-ish celebrity wearing suspenders with a bedroom kink

*with dimples

Brooke Blaine : Nope, I didn’t say that

Alleskelle: (I’m drawing my own conclusions) lol
Brooke Blaine : bahahaha! I’ll let you believe what you want 😉 Don’t you love surprises?

Alleskelle : I do love surprises but I’m such a greedy Hooker…

Brooke Blaine: greedy two-dollar hooker shake! I like that one… ~writes it down~

tumblr_m1vduqd0DC1qfntolo1_500Geri : So Hooker will be the second book. Will it then be a four book series?

Brooke Blaine : Yep, there are four fabulously foul-mouthed bff’s and each will get a turn

Geri : I’m imagining Henry Cavill in suspenders

Brooke Blaine : The Henry Cavill lookalike is in my next book 😉

Lana : WHAT?!!!!!!! *dies*

Alleskelle : Shhhhut up!

Geri : Ooohhh!

Alleskelle : Can we have the next one before this one?

Geri : This is bargaining at its finest LOL!

Brooke Blaine : You know what…I was going back and forth about that . I’m hoping to have it out pretty soon after Hooker. With the most GORGEOUS FUCKING MODEL ON THE PLANET on the front. But it’ll be a standalone. if I’m feeling fun and flirty, romantic comedy comes out.

Alleskelle : Now this cover I have to see

Geri : I love rom-coms. They’re my crack. Jennifer Crusie started me on it.

Brooke Blaine : I’m just leaving you breadcrumbs so you keep coming for more

Alleskelle : You’re such a tease

Lana : I gotta admit, I loved your Romantic Suspense too. Reading with a visual of Jason Statham is nothing to complain about

Brooke Blaine : Thank you! You know, I would love to go back and visit Kirkpatrick from Flash Point one of these days, but it only makes sense if there’s a demand for it. But suspense was a lot of fun.

Alleskelle: Jason Statham does nothing for me…

Geri : Same.

Lana : Who ARE YOU?! Leave right now. Get out! Both of you!

Brooke Blaine : Whaaaat. Not even when he’s kicking like twelve guys asses at the same time?

Lana : Want to lick that man, neck to cock. Swear to God

Alleskelle : He looks like an old man already

Lana : No. (la la la la) I can’t hear you

Brooke Blaine : omg. I have to leave this conversation before I cut a bitch. and I’m tall enough to step on you guys, so…

Lana : Right? I’ll hold them down for you, Brooke. Crazy Whores! I may be small, but I’m scrappy. Watch yourself!

Brooke Blaine : Thank you, Lana. Teamwork

Alleskelle : LMAO, pussy you’ll hide behind her that’s what you meant. Geri you stick by me, we’ll stand proud

Geri : Two on two! Hahahaha! I’m dying

Alleskelle : Are we really fighting over Jason fucking Statham?

Geri : LOL! Looks like

Lana : Do NOT insult my husband, you whore!

Alleskelle : Would you rather I say he is mine? Brooke we’re usually fighting over who keeps whom

Brooke Blaine : It’s not about Jason Statham! Okay it is

Lana : It totally is

Brooke Blaine : This is kind of a deal-breaker. The Hooker Line is about to split apart before it even gets started omg

fJNyKQsLana : We digressed….again. Can we get back to business here?

Brooke Blaine : Sorry sorry, it’s Alex’s fault I think. I’m just gonna point fingers over here

Lana : It’s always Alex’s fault

Geri : *glares at Alex

Alleskelle : How is it it’s always the French ‘s fault? Way to turn up your vest Geri. You were on my side 2 seconds ago.

Lana : *add a stink eye to the glare* judging youuuuu

Alleskelle : Geri said she didn’t like your bald man too. Right Geri? I’m just saying.

Lana : You shut your whore mouth, dammit! We’re detouring again! quit that! This is going to be the longest interview ever…
*claps hands* children, children, concentrate !

Brooke Blaine : ohhhh we’re in trouble. She might spank us

Alleskelle : Yes, Mistress Lana. (I think she’s giving me some Domme vibes)

Brooke Blaine : She does seem the type, doesn’t she?

Lana : I will and you will not enjoy it. I’ll dole out the punishment Russian style!

Geri : Okay. Let me just say that I love that your covers have the heroines or the representation of the heroine on them
Usually, it’s always the hero but yours, it stands out. As much as I love the nekkid, seeing a woman in a cover is refreshing and a very welcome change.

Brooke Blaine : I like covers that when you look at them, you can tell what’s on the inside. I love seeing women on covers. I hate that it all has to be naked guy naked guy

Alleskelle : Too much naked guys

Lana : And I hate when the cover model doesn’t match the actual character. pet peeve

Alleskelle : So, we have Shayne’s story coming up March 9th, and then Paige’s story? And Quinn’s last?

Brooke Blaine : Yep, Shayne is up next, then I’ll pop out a standalone, and then it’s Paige’s turn. And omg…hers I can’t WAIT to write. I’m dying.
-I HATE THAT TOO LANA, when it doesn’t match the character inside

Geri : What’s you favorite part about writing this series?

Brooke Blaine : Geri, Omg the girls. I fucking love the girls. So much of them is taken from all the friends I’ve made over the years, and I just love writing them so much.

Alleskelle : I love the banter you have on between the girls in Licked. And the heroine? I swear it was like hearing Lana talking to me! It was really strange

Brooke Blaine : Ahaha I love that you can relate!

Geri : I love books that showcases women relationships

Brooke Blaine : That’s really the heart of the story. Friendships are so important, to me more so than the romance. Honestly, I could write about them without the men and be so happy with it. That’s not done enough, celebrating women

Alleskelle : Hookers first !

Brooke Blaine : holding each other up instead of tearing each other down. Did you guys fall asleep? Do i need to tell a dick joke?

Geri : It’s great to show that especially in romance where there’s this divide between the heroine and the supposed girls who wants to steal her man. I hate that in books now more than ever

Lana : Dick joke? *perks up ears*

Alleskelle : Lol, I’m always up for dick

Brooke Blaine : LOL

Lana: But about the women, it’s so true. You don’t read enough about this. It’s always back stabbing and jealousy. You don’t get true genuine friendships, or it’s VERY rare. So it’s super refreshing

Brooke Blaine : Well, it’s just catty. I want these books to feel like coming back home in a sense. Like the girls are your family

Lana : it totally has that vibe

Geri : I’m a sucker for books like that


Alleskelle : Can you tell us more about your standalone?

Brooke Blaine : What I’ll tell you is that I’m digging a bit deeper for this next one. I love romcom and I loved the suspense, but I sort of back off from being too vulnerable in my books. I’m that way in real life too, and I just feel that need to sort of let things out. Does that make sense? Keep you salivating and all that 😉

Alleskelle : You have me curious now. Stalking mode activated. Might even set up a folder for you on the computer. muahaha

Brooke Blaine : – Oooh I get my own folder? That’s hot… Should I send nekkid pics? Or not that kind of stalking…

tumblr_leqkn9xRcN1qegjjvLana : So what would we like to close with? Before this spans into another hour. LOL

Brooke Blaine : LOL! Thanks for having me, Hookers. Mouthy bitches, but i dig it 😉

Alleskelle : I think we were relatively sweet today. I for one, behaved. (not directing this at anyone in particular)

Brooke Blaine : Why, are you sick? Feeling shy?

Geri : Your nose Alex

Alleskelle : My nose is perfectly sized today Geri, thank you

Lana : What would you like to close with, Brooke? A pervy joke? A little fun fact A little fun pervy fact?

Geri : A knock knock pervy joke

Alleskelle : I really feel you out -Hookered us, we have a lot to learn still. Baby Hookers here.

Brooke Blaine : Aww, that’s a pretty high compliment.
Omg that’s so putting me on the spot. I’m so bad with jokes. Um hmmm
MEME HERE (or break line, whatever you want.)

Lana : Pervy fact about the hero then? pweeease?

Brooke Blaine : Why you gotta make him pervy. Poor guy, he’s getting a complex!

Alleskelle : Because I sense he’s going to be a perv

Brooke Blaine : you’ll see those suspenders back in action I’ll say 😉 But he won’t be wearing them

Alleskelle : Ah, now you’re talking! I knew he would be kinky! Bondage!!!

Geri : Hey, suspenders can be used as cuffs

Lana : *mind spins off into dark places* LOL

Geri : So he’s basically a McGyver in the bedroom then?

Brooke Blaine : Now you’re off to Pinterest hot suspenders guys with Dimples. oh wait, I could show you one. Well this is Nate…real life name, also Nate


Lana: OMG I love him. He’s on my Pinterest. He’s yummy

Brooke Blaine : Lana I think every hot guy in the world is on your Pinterst. I can never spell that word
Can you do mine? Just send hot guys my way and put ’em on the Nate board. k thanks

Alleskelle : Lana has hidden boards. You haven’t seen nothing yet

Lana : Heeee. I’m a Pinterest peen ninja

Brooke Blaine : ooohhhhh let’s talk about THAT next time… Thank you hookers so much for having me!

Alleskelle : Thank you, Master Hooker! (High praise, usually Lana is the Master Hooker)

Brooke Blaine : Oooh, Master Hooker! Love it. Do u guys bow down on your knees?

Alleskelle: lol! depends on the occasion, Brooke

Brooke Blaine : 😉 Well, thank you! Air kisses and all that

Geri : http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/6914125/Tom-Hardy-strips-naked-for-new-role.html

Alleskelle : Love how you finish the convo with dick pics Geri. In style. Classy

Lana : only way we know how. Tom Hardy peen FTW

Geri : Here’s Tom HARD-y. See what i did there?

Brooke Blaine : Always a good convo when it ends with cock!

Want more? Of course you do, you greedy dirty birds! Read on for an exclusive Hooker excerpt!

About The Book


Whoever said singles were missing out by not finding true love and getting married before the age of thirty had never experienced the sheer pleasure of nightly romantic comedy viewings in their underwear while eating one of Licked’s famous Crazy Cat Lady sundaes. Because life just doesn’t get better than that.

At least, it doesn’t for Shayne Callahan. It didn’t take more than a handful of broken hearts after college to solidify that she was better at pairing up those around her than herself. As a matchmaker at the elite HLS—Hook, Line, & Sinker Matchmaking Company—in the City of Angels, she has a knack for finding the other halves of even the most eccentric clients:

Sugar daddy with a foot fetish? Gross, but no problem.
A severe case of nudophobia? Match made before lunch.

But even the most happily independent of women can find their best-laid plans screeching to a halt when they meet that guy. For Shayne, that guy comes in the form of boyishly handsome, suspender-lovin’, dimple-poppin’ Nate Ryan on a pantsless (we’ll get to that later) Metro ride.

Of course, relationships can never be easy. Before the destined lovers can ride off into the sunset, they must overcome a power-hungry and sexual-punning boss, a celebrity scandal and cover-up, and let’s not forget Shayne’s dreadful foot-in-mouth disease—with which there can never be a happily ever after.

Will fate throw Shayne a freakin’ bone? Or will she be destined to live out her life as sexy(ish), single(ish), and L.A.’s finest Hooker (upper)?


Exclusive Excerpt for The Hooker Line
Hooker by Brooke Blaine © 2016LIKE A GOOD bodyguard, Nate hadn’t left my side all night when we’d entered the club. Not when I went to the bar. Not when I’d headed to the bathroom to touch up my lipstick—though he was waiting just outside the door.The butterflies that had started when I’d first noticed him earlier that evening hadn’t dissipated either—they’d gotten worse. That hadn’t happened with someone in so long that the sensation was unfamiliar, though not necessarily unwelcome.With a final look in the mirror, I fluffed my hair out around my shoulders, grabbed my drink, and walked out of the bathroom. Nate was leaning against the opposite wall, arms crossed and his sleeves pushed up his forearms. His gaze traveled down the length of my body.“Did I mention how much I’m enjoying the fact that you forgot your pants again tonight? If I hadn’t seen those sexy pajamas, I’d be a little concerned you didn’t own any.”“As if you would mind that.”“I think you like me looking at you.”I mimicked his pose as I leaned against the wall. “Well, I can’t stop you.”

“No, you can’t.” He cocked his head to the side. “Do you know what I love more than anything?”

“Stalking potential dates in the grocery aisle?”

“Gorgeous women who pretend they’re not interested.”

I rolled my eyes and pushed off the wall. “I’m not pretend—”

“You like the challenge,” he said, stepping in front of me, his eyes flicking to my mouth. “And believe me, so do I.”


“Stubborn and in denial. I can work with that.” He took the glass from my hand and tipped the liquid into his mouth.

“Let me guess. Girly drinks are your favorite too.”

“Nah, just wanted to get a taste of what’s going into that delicious mouth of yours.”

“Jesus.” I shook my head. “You don’t stop, do you?”

His dimple deepened. “You like that too.”

I tried to keep my lips from twitching into a smile, really I did. He was so damn frustrating. But persistent. And persuasive. And so fucking sexy it was hard to remember why I was trying not to show my interest.

My mind blanked. Why is that again…

His stupid smile was winning me over, though. I had to try harder. And maybe not look at him.

And if you haven’t yet read Licked, one-click that immediately HERE

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Don’t forget to visit our Facebook pages for another chance to win. We’re each giving away an ebook of your choice of Licked or Hooker!

Valentine’s Day Celebration Giveaway: #HookerLine Style


What happens when three sarcastic, snarky and smart mouthed bitches decide to celebrated Valentine’s Day? Valentine’s Day #HookerLine Style, of course! What’s a hallmark holiday if you can’t poke a little fun at it! And since we love all our dirty birds and need to share our brand of love with you, there’s a special giveaway too! Make sure you scroll down to the bottom of this post to enter!

AnB_RS14nCTQ_JOOZ1A1GETqfQIykks0x2csLIlQ4_Q_So here’s wishing you a Happy Hallmark Holiday That Forces You To Buy Shit You Really Should Be Getting Year Round….uheh… we mean a Happy Valentine’s Day!

AlpVWchmz50p6hVX9WTJKiVm2VpL0q3NrhVrPxcAD_R1 [Read more…]

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