ARC Review: Twisted by Emma Chase

There are two kinds of people in the world. The ones who look first, and the ones who leap. I’ve always been more of a looker. Cautious. A planner. That changed after I met Drew Evans. He was so persistent. So sure of himself – and of me.

But not all love stories end happily ever after. Did you think Drew and I were going to ride off into the sunset? Join the club. Now I have to make a choice, the most important of my life. Drew already made his –in fact, he tried to decide for the both of us. But you know that’s just not my style. So I came back to Greenville. Alone. Well, sort of alone….

What I’ve come to realize is that old habits die hard and sometimes you have to go back to where you began, before you can move ahead.

TWISTED picks up two years after Tangled’s end, and is told from Kate’s POV.

3.5 Stars


You know that saying, “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?”
That’s a crock. Whoever said it didn’t know a fucking thing about love. Ignorance is better; it’s painless.”

And truthfully, after the 35% mark, I’d rather have had the pie…

Last we saw Kate and Drew, they were together and basking in lots of post coital glow. I wasn’t really sure why a second book was necessary, but I loved Tangled and Emma Chase’s writing, so there was no question about me reading this one.

Now in reading that quote, you’re probably confused about what happens in this book for such a sharp turn around to be taken, right? And you’re now expecting me to tell you what happens, right?

Well dream on! Cause I’m not doing it. I’m sadistic like that, what can I say?

Let’s just say that Drew screws up. BIG TIME. And by big time, I mean he left me wondering

Tangled is told entirely in Kate’s POV. I was a little worried that nothing could possibly beat the awesomeness that was Drew in book 1. And you know what? You really can’t. But Kate’s POV came pretty damn close. Add in all the characters from the previous book, and there were plenty of laugh out loud moments,


Everyone- can I have your attention, please? Mackenzie has an announcement she’d like to make”
“My mom and dad had sex!”
The entire table is silent.
Until Matthew raises his glass.
“Congratulations, Steven. It’s like Halley’s Comet, right? You only get to come ever seventy-five years?”

I loved the first 35% of the book. I couldn’t get enough of it. And then somewhere after the 40% mark, it started to irritate me.

See, here’s the thing. I love angst in books. I’m a regular angst whore. But what I absolutely don’t like is manufactured drama.

What we have here is a HUGE misunderstanding that spans practically the entire book where all that can resolve it is one word. You’re probably thinking now. Wait!

One word? YES. One word.

As much as I wanted to lay the blame solely on Drew’s shoulders, I couldn’t. Because Kate was equal parts responsible for it.

Truthfully, it just felt way too drawn out.

But saying all that, I still liked the book quite a bit. I just didn’t love it. It was great catching up with all my favorite characters from the last book, and I’m practically salivating for Delores and Matthew’s story after the little teaser at the end of this one.

I loved getting more Drew and Kate, but I’m not sure that a full length book was really necessary here. I could have done with a novella. But hey, that’s just my opinion here.

***All quotes taken from the ARC version of the book and may not match up to the published version***

ARC courtesy of publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review**

Review: Love and Lists by Tara Sivec

Love and Lists (Chocoholics, #1)Love and Lists by Tara Sivec

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

 

Love and Lists is the first book in the Chocolate Lovers spinoff – Chocoholics: The foul-mouthed offspring tell their stories.
Twenty-five-year-old Gavin Ellis has always had the love and support of his family ever since he was a little boy and couldn’t stop talking about his penis. He’s also always had their unsolicited advice and uncanny knack of embarrassing him at all costs. Now that he’s an adult and trying to convince the love of his life to love him back, things haven’t changed very much from when he was younger.
When Gavin’s best friend Tyler suggests he make a to-do list of items that will ensure he wins the girl, Gavin is one-hundred-percent on board: after a few six packs.
After puking in the shrubs, a bad experience with Viagra, a Sex-Ed course gone wrong, and a slew of other mishaps courtesy of his family and friends, Gavin is pretty sure this list will be the death of him.
Sometimes, trying to make someone love you with a list isn’t always the best idea. Especially when “Show her your penis” is the first “to-do” item…

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She has no idea that every time I’m within three feet of her my penis perks up like a meerkat when it hears a noise. It’s fucking Meerkat Manor in my pants.

So have you ever sat there and thought to yourself, I wonder how many times the word penis can be used in a book? No? That’s just me? Really? Huh. Well I’ll bet you’re curious about it now. Let me appease your curiosity then. 83.

So remember the mouthy little shit, Gavin, from the Chocolate Lovers series? Well, he’s now a grown up mouthy little shit. He’s also secretly in love with his best friend, Charolette, who happens to be the daughter of his mother’s best friend. There’s just a few tiny problems with that. Biggest one being that every time Gaving gets near Charlotte

But not to worry, because he has plenty of help from his family and friends.

There’s his mom and her friend, Liz


“You should buy her flowers.”
“Or jewelry. Women love getting jewelry.”
“I never cared much for jewelry. I was happy if he just remembered to put the toilet seat down.”
“True. Put down the toilet seat. Ooooh, make her a mix tape! Those are always fun.”
“Nineteen-eighty-five called, they want their idea back.”
“Suck my dick.”

There was Gavin’s best friend, Tyler

I’m pretty sure I’ll never look at My Little Pony the same after him.

Then there was my favorite, Drew

 


Quick, what are the ten erogenous zones on a woman? GO!”
“GAAAAH! Fuck! Um, neck, lips, feet, inner thighs—”
“BZZZZZZZZZZ. WRONG, FUCKER!”
“What? Those were totally right. And I wasn’t done yet,” I argue. “Those are wrong. Want to know what the ten erogenous zones on a woman are? Number one: vagina. Number two: it doesn’t fucking matter if you’re touching her vagina right!” Uncle Drew shouts. “You are a disgrace. Your mother should have swallowed.”

And of course what would it be without Jenny


Gavin, you have a girlfriend?! Oh my gosh that’s so exciting! I have condoms in my purse if you need them. They’re the kind with insecticide so they totally work,”

I laughed like a crazy person throughout the entire book. But while I thought it was cute and funny read, I never really found myself connecting all that much with Gavin and Charlotte. I think maybe the two of them as a couple kind of got lost in the hilarity that was the rest of this book. That’s what ultimately made this less than 5 stars for me.

If you’re looking for a lighthearted, hilarious read, you know you can never go wrong with a Tara Sivec book.

Review: Shattered Glass by Dani Alexander

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A male prostitute, a mangy cat, a murder and an obsession that threatens his career, his impending marriage and his life. Nothing is going as planned for Austin Glass.
Austin Glass seems to have it all, A loving fiancee, a future with the FBI and a healthy sized trust fund. At least on the surface. He also has a grin and a wisecrack for every situation. But the smile he presents to the world hides a painful past he’s buried too deeply to remember, and his quips mask bitterness and insecurity. Austin has himself and most of the whole world fooled—until he meets a redhead in a pair of bunny slippers.

As events unfold in the biggest case of his life, Austin’s carefully planned future unravels, and he finds himself pushed into making quick, life-changing decisions. But can he trust himself or anything he feels, when each event seems to be just a series of volatile reactions?

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AMAZON

Review5 stars

Being gay wasn’t like changing eye colors; you couldn’t just get contacts and “Whammo!”— gayness.

“I like you. Even though you’re probably a criminal and are going to get me thrown off the force. And you kicked me. Broke my nose. Made me gay and refused to kiss me.”

I have to warn you in advance, when I get excited about something, I tend to swear like a sailor with tourette’s syndrome. You’ve been warned… FUCKITY FUCKING FUCK but this book was awesome! I don’t even have the words to describe how much I loved it. I’m pretty sure I highlighted every single word that came out of Austin’s mouth. I couldn’t stop myself. He was like a lingual Midas. Everything that came out of the man’s mouth was pure gold.

I wasn’t gay. You don’t go twenty-six years before the gay gene suddenly just kicks in. It didn’t work like that. I was sure of it. Not that I knew that much about being gay. I had one friend with same-sex orientation, and Dana hadn’t spoken to me since I asked her to describe her honeymoon in graphic detail— and then made vibrator noises.

Awww, Austin, don’t fret

Fuck it, I’m not gay. Goddammit. I’m bunny-slipper-sexual?

Really? Done and DONE!

Now come to mama Austin!

This book was like the perfect set up for a joke: A detective, a whore, and a demonic looking cat walk into a diner…

But I digress, so let’s get to the review shall we?

Austin Glass seemingly has it all, a great job as a detective with the FBI lined up, a more than healthy trust fund that keeps him in $2000 suits for work, a charming personality that seems to get him whatever he wants, a wise crack for every occasion, and a loving fiance. There’s just one problem that he seems to have now. After seeing a certain redheaded busboy in bunny slippers, Austin can’t seem to stop thinking about him. Which proves to be a bit of a problem. How does a man that has been engaged 4 times, and cheated on each woman with the next one, all of a sudden find himself fantasizing about

I’m not gay.”“Congratulations. Would you like a medal?” Bunny Slippers asked.
“I already have a medal. For bravery, not for being gay. I think you made me gay.”
“I made you gay? Is that better or worse than the person who made you stupid?”

That is quite the conundrum you got yourself there Austin. Perhaps there’s a book you can read that might help you out?

Hmmm….well maybe you can talk to a gay friend or something? Maybe talk to your partner’s gay daughter? I think he offered…

I don’t give a shit if your daughter is gay or your whole fucking lineage is taking it up the ass. They’re not me. Unless you have some unique perspective on why I’m suddenly checking out guys’ asses, then I’m just going to go with the redhead that takes it up the ass and hope he has a shitfucking answer.” Or a goddamn roadmap of how to deal with a sudden attraction to penises might be helpful, too.

Well sure, I guess you could do that too.

I think I read this entire book with a big goofy grin on my face. I don’t think there was one thing about it I disliked. Everything was just fucking awesome!

Austin’s internal musings

Dear God, he’d broken my nose, charged me for sex, kicked me, made me look like an idiot, and all I wanted to do is bang the sense out of him with my dick.

Austin’s banter with his partner

“Today is hump day, Luis.” I lolled my head to the side and blinked prettily at my partner.
“Don’t make me lock you in a cell, Glass.”
“What kind of gifts do people give their partner on hump day? Lube? Vibrators? Issues of Bazooms with a box of tissues?”

And most especially, Austin’s banter with Peter

You’re frustrating.”
“I’m adorable.”
“From a distance,” Peter admitted— grudgingly.“Up close, I’m sexy as hell.”
“You’re rich, spoiled and used to getting your way,” he said stubbornly. “Not true. If I had my way you would have kissed me and ridden me like cowboy while screaming ‘yeehaw’.”

This book had everything; humor, suspense, mystery, action. And when we finally have some action between Peter and Austin…

Major swoon!

How the fuckidy fuck did I go so long without reading this book? What is wrong with me? Wait! Don’t answer that. But in all seriousness, this book was simply the best. Thank you my PPE, Pervy, for giving me the friendly shove to read this one. You are the bestest! *muah*

Now I could probably keep sitting here and ramble on and on about how much I loved this, and quite possibly put in like 50 other quotes I like. But that is all you will be getting from me. Stop reading my review and go read this book!!!

And I thank you

P.S.

I need the next book like yesterday! Cai! I want it! I need it! Gimme gimme gimme!
Dear Dani Alexander, what do I have to promise you to get this book? My first born? A kidney? An ovary? For the love of Jebus, WHAT?!

Ok…I think my manic episode is done now. Really. Don’t judge me!

Copyright © 2015 · Dirty Girl Romance

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