Review: Shattered Glass by Dani Alexander

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A male prostitute, a mangy cat, a murder and an obsession that threatens his career, his impending marriage and his life. Nothing is going as planned for Austin Glass.
Austin Glass seems to have it all, A loving fiancee, a future with the FBI and a healthy sized trust fund. At least on the surface. He also has a grin and a wisecrack for every situation. But the smile he presents to the world hides a painful past he’s buried too deeply to remember, and his quips mask bitterness and insecurity. Austin has himself and most of the whole world fooled—until he meets a redhead in a pair of bunny slippers.

As events unfold in the biggest case of his life, Austin’s carefully planned future unravels, and he finds himself pushed into making quick, life-changing decisions. But can he trust himself or anything he feels, when each event seems to be just a series of volatile reactions?

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Review5 stars

Being gay wasn’t like changing eye colors; you couldn’t just get contacts and “Whammo!”— gayness.

“I like you. Even though you’re probably a criminal and are going to get me thrown off the force. And you kicked me. Broke my nose. Made me gay and refused to kiss me.”

I have to warn you in advance, when I get excited about something, I tend to swear like a sailor with tourette’s syndrome. You’ve been warned… FUCKITY FUCKING FUCK but this book was awesome! I don’t even have the words to describe how much I loved it. I’m pretty sure I highlighted every single word that came out of Austin’s mouth. I couldn’t stop myself. He was like a lingual Midas. Everything that came out of the man’s mouth was pure gold.

I wasn’t gay. You don’t go twenty-six years before the gay gene suddenly just kicks in. It didn’t work like that. I was sure of it. Not that I knew that much about being gay. I had one friend with same-sex orientation, and Dana hadn’t spoken to me since I asked her to describe her honeymoon in graphic detail— and then made vibrator noises.

Awww, Austin, don’t fret

Fuck it, I’m not gay. Goddammit. I’m bunny-slipper-sexual?

Really? Done and DONE!

Now come to mama Austin!

This book was like the perfect set up for a joke: A detective, a whore, and a demonic looking cat walk into a diner…

But I digress, so let’s get to the review shall we?

Austin Glass seemingly has it all, a great job as a detective with the FBI lined up, a more than healthy trust fund that keeps him in $2000 suits for work, a charming personality that seems to get him whatever he wants, a wise crack for every occasion, and a loving fiance. There’s just one problem that he seems to have now. After seeing a certain redheaded busboy in bunny slippers, Austin can’t seem to stop thinking about him. Which proves to be a bit of a problem. How does a man that has been engaged 4 times, and cheated on each woman with the next one, all of a sudden find himself fantasizing about

I’m not gay.”“Congratulations. Would you like a medal?” Bunny Slippers asked.
“I already have a medal. For bravery, not for being gay. I think you made me gay.”
“I made you gay? Is that better or worse than the person who made you stupid?”

That is quite the conundrum you got yourself there Austin. Perhaps there’s a book you can read that might help you out?

Hmmm….well maybe you can talk to a gay friend or something? Maybe talk to your partner’s gay daughter? I think he offered…

I don’t give a shit if your daughter is gay or your whole fucking lineage is taking it up the ass. They’re not me. Unless you have some unique perspective on why I’m suddenly checking out guys’ asses, then I’m just going to go with the redhead that takes it up the ass and hope he has a shitfucking answer.” Or a goddamn roadmap of how to deal with a sudden attraction to penises might be helpful, too.

Well sure, I guess you could do that too.

I think I read this entire book with a big goofy grin on my face. I don’t think there was one thing about it I disliked. Everything was just fucking awesome!

Austin’s internal musings

Dear God, he’d broken my nose, charged me for sex, kicked me, made me look like an idiot, and all I wanted to do is bang the sense out of him with my dick.

Austin’s banter with his partner

“Today is hump day, Luis.” I lolled my head to the side and blinked prettily at my partner.
“Don’t make me lock you in a cell, Glass.”
“What kind of gifts do people give their partner on hump day? Lube? Vibrators? Issues of Bazooms with a box of tissues?”

And most especially, Austin’s banter with Peter

You’re frustrating.”
“I’m adorable.”
“From a distance,” Peter admitted— grudgingly.“Up close, I’m sexy as hell.”
“You’re rich, spoiled and used to getting your way,” he said stubbornly. “Not true. If I had my way you would have kissed me and ridden me like cowboy while screaming ‘yeehaw’.”

This book had everything; humor, suspense, mystery, action. And when we finally have some action between Peter and Austin…

Major swoon!

How the fuckidy fuck did I go so long without reading this book? What is wrong with me? Wait! Don’t answer that. But in all seriousness, this book was simply the best. Thank you my PPE, Pervy, for giving me the friendly shove to read this one. You are the bestest! *muah*

Now I could probably keep sitting here and ramble on and on about how much I loved this, and quite possibly put in like 50 other quotes I like. But that is all you will be getting from me. Stop reading my review and go read this book!!!

And I thank you

P.S.

I need the next book like yesterday! Cai! I want it! I need it! Gimme gimme gimme!
Dear Dani Alexander, what do I have to promise you to get this book? My first born? A kidney? An ovary? For the love of Jebus, WHAT?!

Ok…I think my manic episode is done now. Really. Don’t judge me!

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