Review: Love and Lists by Tara Sivec

Love and Lists (Chocoholics, #1)Love and Lists by Tara Sivec

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

 

Love and Lists is the first book in the Chocolate Lovers spinoff – Chocoholics: The foul-mouthed offspring tell their stories.
Twenty-five-year-old Gavin Ellis has always had the love and support of his family ever since he was a little boy and couldn’t stop talking about his penis. He’s also always had their unsolicited advice and uncanny knack of embarrassing him at all costs. Now that he’s an adult and trying to convince the love of his life to love him back, things haven’t changed very much from when he was younger.
When Gavin’s best friend Tyler suggests he make a to-do list of items that will ensure he wins the girl, Gavin is one-hundred-percent on board: after a few six packs.
After puking in the shrubs, a bad experience with Viagra, a Sex-Ed course gone wrong, and a slew of other mishaps courtesy of his family and friends, Gavin is pretty sure this list will be the death of him.
Sometimes, trying to make someone love you with a list isn’t always the best idea. Especially when “Show her your penis” is the first “to-do” item…

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She has no idea that every time I’m within three feet of her my penis perks up like a meerkat when it hears a noise. It’s fucking Meerkat Manor in my pants.

So have you ever sat there and thought to yourself, I wonder how many times the word penis can be used in a book? No? That’s just me? Really? Huh. Well I’ll bet you’re curious about it now. Let me appease your curiosity then. 83.

So remember the mouthy little shit, Gavin, from the Chocolate Lovers series? Well, he’s now a grown up mouthy little shit. He’s also secretly in love with his best friend, Charolette, who happens to be the daughter of his mother’s best friend. There’s just a few tiny problems with that. Biggest one being that every time Gaving gets near Charlotte

But not to worry, because he has plenty of help from his family and friends.

There’s his mom and her friend, Liz


“You should buy her flowers.”
“Or jewelry. Women love getting jewelry.”
“I never cared much for jewelry. I was happy if he just remembered to put the toilet seat down.”
“True. Put down the toilet seat. Ooooh, make her a mix tape! Those are always fun.”
“Nineteen-eighty-five called, they want their idea back.”
“Suck my dick.”

There was Gavin’s best friend, Tyler

I’m pretty sure I’ll never look at My Little Pony the same after him.

Then there was my favorite, Drew

 


Quick, what are the ten erogenous zones on a woman? GO!”
“GAAAAH! Fuck! Um, neck, lips, feet, inner thighs—”
“BZZZZZZZZZZ. WRONG, FUCKER!”
“What? Those were totally right. And I wasn’t done yet,” I argue. “Those are wrong. Want to know what the ten erogenous zones on a woman are? Number one: vagina. Number two: it doesn’t fucking matter if you’re touching her vagina right!” Uncle Drew shouts. “You are a disgrace. Your mother should have swallowed.”

And of course what would it be without Jenny


Gavin, you have a girlfriend?! Oh my gosh that’s so exciting! I have condoms in my purse if you need them. They’re the kind with insecticide so they totally work,”

I laughed like a crazy person throughout the entire book. But while I thought it was cute and funny read, I never really found myself connecting all that much with Gavin and Charlotte. I think maybe the two of them as a couple kind of got lost in the hilarity that was the rest of this book. That’s what ultimately made this less than 5 stars for me.

If you’re looking for a lighthearted, hilarious read, you know you can never go wrong with a Tara Sivec book.

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