Hooker Line #3: ★Pet Peeves in Romance★

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If there’s one thing that’s guaranteed when us hookers get together for a chat, is that it usually turns into a long ramble or rant…which lo and behold is exactly what happened with our pet peeves chat. But are you really that surprised about this? Of course you’re not. So I suggest you get some wine ready and hope you enjoy our recent rant/ramble session!


 

Lana: So? Pet peeves? Ready Hookers?
Alex: Yeah yeah, ready. Now or never.
Geri: Yeah I’m ready
Alex: I don’t have any pet peeves. I’m super easy. 😀
Geri: Hush
Lana:  HA!
Alex: eh, ’tis true. (I’ve just read an HR so bear with me. I have remnants of old English)
Geri: You hang out with us so you definitely have pet peeves! I have so many pet peeves
Alex: And here we go: Hookers on RANT, ACTION!
Lana: Since we were on the subject earlier, I HATE covers that don’t match the book. Like the cover model is blonde, but the hero is a brunette
Geri: Yes, I Hate that. It ruins the story
Lana:  Yes, I’m a picky bitch like that but dammit! Give me a nice visual! I demand satisfaction!
Alex: I don’t like it either. I need coherence.
Lana:  It totally ruins the effect for me because I’ll have a mental image of the hideousness as I’m reading
Geri: I’d rather not have a person there at all on the cover.
Alex: Or a naked chest because the genre is romance. I’m tired of nekkid chests

dea6bc4038c88b3c5180c778c44bc75aGeri: I’m not
Alex: Of course you would say that, whore!
Geri: That’s me.
Lana:  Umm…I can’t complain about nekkid chest. LOL! Though I remember Rebecca Zanetti’s Sin Brothers series had some hot covers and they weren’t even nekkid men chests. Fully clothed but still hot


 

Geri: So pet peeve one. You started it Lana. What else?
Lana:  Here’s my most recent one: COMPARISONS to other books in the blurb as marketing! OMG! Drive me batty!
Alex: I hate it when authors use this to advertise their book.
Lana:  You know what I’m talking about? When the blurb for the book will say, if you’re a fan of this author, or if you liked this book, this is similar to so and so book. Because they NEVER ARE! Like EVER
Geri: Yes, I know what you mean
Alex: Readers using this, I’m okay with it. But from authors or publishers? Hmm. no.
Geri: Exactly. Because readers are talking about their experience. From publishers, it gives readers the wrong expectations
Lana:  Like why would you do that? Then I’m FORCED to compare, and I’ll usually find it lacking. No. Just no. Stop it right now!
Geri: Or use other characters to market books “If you love Christian Grey…” Ha! Sorry but I don’t.
Alex: But see, Geri, it helped you NOT to pick the book!
Lana:  It’s like hey! Hey you! You ever been to Bahamas? Well, come on down to Bumfuck, Nowhere. We have a beach too. No, I will not go to Bumfuck, Nowhere. You fuck off with that!
Geri: If they have free massage on Bumfuck, I’d go.
Lana:  You’re a cheap whore, that’s why
Alex: And Geri, over a massage? Damn, hooker you are TOO easy. Cheap whore indeed
Geri: Hey! Don’t rain on my game. Plus, I’d kill for a massage right now.
Lana:  Sometimes I totally fall for it, too. Like I recently read a book that was compared to Corrupt. I was like, hell yeah! Bring on that fuckery! And then I read it and thought, WTF IS this fuckery?

tumblr_nxx3ajC7Ii1s9b724o4_500*cries*
Alex: But Corrupt was a WTF is this fuckery kind of books. But that’s just me.
Lana:  No one asked you, Alex! LOL! You just don’t like dark
Alex: I do like dark. Fan of horror. But dark romance often rhymes with stupid plot and stupid characters.
Lana: *la la la* I can’t hear you! There IS a line. There’s good Dark Romance and then there’s the poor imitation with gratuitous violence and unnecessary deaths.
Geri: But it’s so in the rage now. Like just throw in rape and murder and voila: dark romance.
Alex: Aren’t all dark romance books like that Lana?
Lana: Shut it! I like the dark romance dammit!giphy-8Geri: Wait, are we in Bumfuck now?
Lana: We digressed
Geri: Because Alex
Lana:  LOL
Alex: Always blame the Frenchy.


 

Alex: One of my worst pet peeves ever, is bad translation in books.
Lana:  YES! SO MUCH YES!
Google translate is NOT a reliable source for the love of my sanity! Quit that!
Alex: Author : Google translate is bad for you. So verra bad. I can’t even recall the number of times I’ve Dnf’d books because of it.
Lana:  I remember trying to read a book with a Russian heroine once, and she’s yelling at the hero (what the author thought was) “I don’t want to sleep with you”
But what she actually said was, “I don’t want to NAP with you”
Myeah….I DNF’d right around there
Geri: Lana, mafia books are notorious for wrong translations
Alex: If it’s a language I understand, then you can be sure if it’s badly translated, the MCs are going to lose all credit.
Geri: It’s the lazy way. Seriously.
Alex: I think authors use Google translate as the easy way. There are so many forums out there, where you can ask a REAL person. There’s a reader community.
Lana:  Post a FB update asking FFS
Alex: Some even don’t care, I’m sure. “Oh, my readers are Americans, they won’t notice if it’s badly translated”
Lana:  I truly don’t get it
Alex: I hate they would assume people are idiots.
Lana: Why take a language and completely butcher it? It’s insulting to the readers that speak the language IMO
Alex: it’s insulting to ALL the readers, in my opinion. Lack of research.tumblr_n1pxfh8Dw81s9b724o8_400Lana: And I’ve read some BAD translations.
Like one book meant had this: “My name is (xxx), this is my fiancée, and you’re about to die”
The actual translation was: “I (xxx), this is my groom (referring to a female), you has dead.” No joke. I will never forget it so long as I live. I actually CRINGED while reading that.
Alex: LOL LANA
Geri: There is a way to do it without even translating everything. But it takes skill really. Some just put foreign words here and there to make their writing “authentic”. But if it’s all wrong…
Alex: Well, in that DARK ROMANCE BOOK… that I won’t name of course, the guy was a sex seller, he had a living at home slave… you know what book I’m talking about…
And the guy, supposedly from an aristocrat French family, all mighty, refined etc… was talking French like a 4 years old
Geri: OMG
Alex: And that’s even insulting to all 4 years old French kids. Character therefore looked like a retarded guy to me. I DNF’d the book. It was a trilogy.
Lana: Whoops? Pretty sure I loved that one LOL! Good thing I only speak Russian ahahaha
Geri: It’s very off putting
Lana: I think the only ones that EVER pulled off Russian correctly was Lexi Blake and Shayla Black
Geri: Which books?
Lana: It was their Perfect Gentlemen series. They actually took the time to use ACTUAL Cyrillic and not the English sounding version of it. I wanted to take a bow to them when I read that, lol!
Alex: Some authors really do proper research.
Take Diana Gabaldon. Perfect translations. But then, either you want to make it look right, or you just don’t care.
Geri: It takes a lot of effort. Not all are willing though


 

Alex: Ok, NEXT! What really can drive me nuts is…. Manufactured angst. Tension.
Geri: Explain or give us an example
Alex: When a whole book is based on a stupid misunderstanding. Hate this.
Lana:  UGH. YES
Geri: Yes
Lana: I’m just going to make the characters chase their tails up until 95% because….ANGST
Alex: In real life, it would be cleared out in seconds. But in books it serves as a PLOT and goes on for 300 pages. WHY?
Geri: And if they had talk it could have been solved but no. Let’s be dense and run away all the time. And no one wants to talk about it. But everyone just assumes things
Alex: The characters would spend time talking about stupid shit like the brand of their shoes, their car etc… (another pet peeve) and not take the time to talk about A HUGE secret that obviously is a problem. I don’t get it
Lana: Or it’s the same issue that gets brought up over and over and over and over. Enough already! I’ve already chewed it, swallowed, and defecating that issue as we speak. DROP IT
Alex: You and poop lately, LOL!
Lana: what? I’m just saying LOL
Geri: I hate angst where there’s this big secret. And everybody refers to it but no one talks about it.
Alex: I don’t get it.tumblr_n1w99ncVJX1s9b724o1_400


 

Alex: And this leads me to LOVE TRIANGLES. “Everyone, take a deep breath! There is a fucking lot to say.”
Geri: Booo
Lana:  *shudders* don’t say those words! It’s like Voldemort or Rumpelstiltskin. *covers ears*
Alex: Resulting of unspoken truths, misunderstandings: Love Triangles! Yay!
Geri: I love triangles… Kidding!
Alex: What really bugs me out is the heroine in that configuration. Gah! Either she looks like a greedy whore for stringing along 2 guys
Geri: What I hate more are the resolutions rather than the triangle itself.
Lana:  I hates love triangles with the fire of the worst kind of venereal disease. Honest to gawd. I can’t. I just can’t.
Geri: I avoid them.
Lana:  And the chick is almost always all wishy washy and leading both men on because she doesn’t want to hurt them. The whore!
Geri: And she has to be confused. Because it’s the rule, right?
Lana:  *flashback to Thoughtless*
*Rocks self in corner*
Alex: Shhhh Thoughtless, lol
Lana:  God that book drove me to drink. Put me off Love Triangles for YEARS after.
Geri: No but see she has to love the asshole, it’s the rule
Lana:  Or the easy fix where all of a sudden one of the men turns out to be an asshole….or better yet, gets killed off.tumblr_n1w904V5MK1s9b724o4_500Alex: “I can’t choose, I love them both. Oh never mind, the other one was an asshole from the start but I didn’t realize it soon enough”
Geri: The getting killed off part pisses me off
Alex: The parameters are always the same. ALWAYS
Geri: Taking Chances anyone?
Lana:  OMG OMG OMG! Don’t even say that title out loud
Alex: I haven’t read that one. *feels blessed*
Geri: Or the other series that everybody hates. Well not hate but the ending ruined it
Lana:  YES. I refuse to read it. So glad I waited for third book to be out so I knew to avoid altogether.
Geri: I know friends who still rage about the ending after all these years
Lana: I would have gone homicidal
Geri: Shout out to Lisa Jayne and Christy! They were traumatized
Lana: AHAHAHAHA! Poor Lisa Jayne. She was scarred for life
Alex: Which books?
Geri:The Erin Noelle one, I think.


 

Alex: What about specific.. er.. pet peeves…. You know… Bedroom Pet Peeves.
Geri: Special snowflakes. Not bedroom but, can we do away with Mary Sues already?
Lana: OMG the special snowflakes! Gag metumblr_nvtx08HwoP1s9b724o2_500Geri: I like them but not every freaking book has to have this type of heroine
My feelings for this are all over the place!
Lana: and ALL of them have the golden poosy! Have you noticed this?
Alex: The golden pussy is a requirement. The best they’ve ever had. Even manwhores with a mile long tallytumblr_nvtwh3aed11s9b724o8_500Geri: The heroine has to be clueless about the hero or else she’d be like other girls. Other girls being the “sluts”. Which is just annoying.
Lana:  omg the slut shaming. Makes me stabby! STABBY!
Geri: And the heroine of course had to be clueless and push the hero away because God forbid that she likes the hero already and wants him.


 

Lana: Can we talk about that double standard for a second here? Why is the hero always manwhoring around and the heroine is always cooling her ovaries in the land of zero cocks. Why?
Geri: Because that would make her like the “other girls”. Duh.
Alex: Yeah, we need Hooker books. With original hookers. Own your pussies, ladies!
Geri: It’s leading up to that
Lana:  Like look here, hooker! You probably got cobwebs at this point. At least air that shit out a little. Get a little boob action. Go on a date! LOOK at a penis. You don’t have to touch it or anything.

cab0b14f4b3846a6626ba2a35eb149c751fae5ed7b070c6d9f9a26ced4e2ea0dAlex: Not even a sex toy because that would still be having a sexual life
Geri: I hate it because the hero can fuck anyone he likes and the heroine has to pine away. PINE!!
Alex: Maybe the clueless heroine has remnants over the whole romance genre.
Lana:  So this asshole left me 12 years ago, I’m just gonna go celibate because….reasons. Oh look! He’s back! *takes ovaries out of isolation*
Geri: I hate it. Like do men really prefer women like that? The clueless ones?
Lana:  I’m not saying have the heroine shutting it up around town but c’mon!
What’s that? You slept with another man during your 2 year break up with the hero? You WHORE! Are we back in the 60s or some shit? There’s nothing wrong with a healthy sex life. Quit with the slut shaming. It’s seriously perpetuating a stereotype.
Alex: At this point it’s just a matter of taking vows to god and entering a conventtumblr_n3vqaxExtn1rdutw3o1_400But let’s get back to clueless kind of heroines. You know… The virgins.
Lana:  Ah yes. The clueless special snowflakes
Alex: I could understand a Historical with a clueless virgin… But a contemporary with a clueless virgin? HOW? You no have Internet? Google that shit, lady!tumblr_nvtwocdDSA1s9b724o7_250Geri: I don’t mind virgins. As long as her motivation for staying one isn’t because she’s pining for the hero.
Lana:  I DO. I’m so over the freaking virgins. Unless we need to do a virgin sacrifice for the sake of a good book, lay off the virgins!
Geri: And being a virgin shouldn’t make her special. Or more worthy of the hero’s affection. That’s my objection to Virgin heroine storyline. It’s the hero’s reaction to it. Like she’s somehow special because she’s a Virgin. Tthey shouldn’t be prized above other girls because of their virginity.
Alex: well of course the hero would be pleased to conquer a virgin territory. Pfff
I don’t mind the virgins per se, just the clueless ones.
Lana: I don’t mind them in YA or NA, so long as they’re not special snowflakes
Geri: LOL!

Alex: But the clueless ones in contemporary storylines, “ooooh why is your male sword so hard? And why do my “nether” regions feel so damp right now?” Is it still possible for a woman or a teenager even to not KNOW how the human body.
Lana:  Nope. We don’t have health class.
Geri: Not possible. Unless you live in Timbuktu. No offense to Timbuktuians
Lana:  Can you find a 27-year-old virgin? No seriously? I understand if this was YA or even NA. But when we’re talking past the age of 25? Really?
Geri: I can.
Alex: I think we can, Lana, virgins age 25 and more. it’s not what is bothering me. They can be virgins, but don’t act like you’re out of some Historical Romance, or you’ve been sheltered from boys your whole life!
Geri: Or they don’t know how we make babies?
Lana:  Look, I was traumatized for life after that shit. We watched a baby born “au naturel.” I had nightmares for months after. I got cold sweat flashbacks to that video when I was pregnant LOL
Alex: I closed my eyes the whole time, lol. And I was terrorized I would have to pop my kid out years later. Thank fuck for C-sections.

Lana: oh and then the switch is flipped and they go from virgin to sex pro it 3 thrusts flat!
all of a sudden it’s “I’m gonna swallow” and “bring on the anal”.I ask you? Who swallows on their first time?!
Geri: Special snowflakes with special swallowing powers?
Alex: When virgins are made sex professionals in one night. Seriously.
Lana:  I mean, let’s be real. If the guy that took my v-card wanted anal afterwards, I would have told him to go poke a pencil sized hole in a wall and go to towntumblr_n498pmJhb81s9b724o5_400Alex: LOL! Or worse even, when they get 10 orgasms on their first night. bitches
Geri: 10 orgasms is nothing.
Alex: Wait you’ve read MORE?
Geri: I read one book where the heroine came 12 times. In one night.
Alex: But was she a virgin?
Lana: 12?! I think my vagina just clenched in sympathy.
Alex: It clenched because you’re a whore!
Lana: Could she even walk the next day?

awkward-Mulan-walk-home-GIFGeri: She wasn’t a virgin but she’s been on ice I think. But seriously!
Lana:  Ha! She’d need the ice AFTER.
Geri: That calls for an emergency room visit.
Lana: I mean the chafing! The chafing! ouchiestumblr_n58fyeIJDH1s9b724o2_r1_500Alex: Oooh ohh another thing in bed that annoys me in romance books. THE PILL TALK or the I’m clean she’s clean convos. And of course they would have health reports handy. Like I’ve got mine in my purse every time I’m going out for drinks. You never know, right?
Geri: But you have to trust him. He always uses a condom with other girls…*roll eyes so hard*
I like how Linda Howard does it. The pill talk I mean.
Alex: How does Linda Howard does it?
Geri: They have the talk prior to even being in bed. Because her characters are mature and talk about it.
Alex: That would make sense… but for the spontaneous moments?
Geri: The heroine always mostly steps back and take control.
Lana: YES. I think I see a LH re-read in my future.
Alex: I mean I get it, it’s part of sex life, but handing out health reports just because the MCs don’t want to use a condom on a casual fuck? Hmm that’s not safe sex anymore. I don’t see the point. You don’t know the guy, make him wear a condom.tumblr_n498t0O48e1s9b724o5_500Lana:  here’s a big one for me: The Magic Peen.
Alex: hey the magic peen just makes the expression “fuck some sense into someone” more real
Geri: “Anything longer than 8 inches is strictly for show and tell”
Alex: lol, love that quote Geri.
Lana:  Come one, come all! Have emotional issues? Stick it in! BAM! Cured!
Have psychological issues? Definitely stick it in! BAM! REALLY cured!
Have sexual issues? Bitch, you’re seriously overdo for the sticking.
Alex: Reminds me of a certain Lord of the Manor, Lana.
Lana:  AHAHAHAHAHA! *shudders*
Alex: *Sigh* Lana, most of my romance reads are still like that.
Geri: The magic peen and the magic pussy take your pick.20160308143700Alex: I don’t get it why some authors feel the need to over exaggerate everything. I’m fine with “normal” sex lives. Normal sex is good.
Geri: I get that it’s fantasy but it’s overkill.
And it ends up not being sexy.
Can you imagine how she must have walked after that 12 orgasms?
Alex: Don’t even get me started on dick sizes. Why mention it at all? If it doesn’t have something to do with the story or a character’s personality. I don’t need to know he’s 10 inches long.tumblr_nmbeq7BMyb1s9b724o2_500Lana:  You don’t like Godzilla cock, Alex? But why?
Alex: Because I’m not a whore like you. Baby steps.
Lana:  LMAO!
Geri: I keep thinking about how the hero and heroine go at it without worrying about the wet spot on the bed.
Alex: Nooo because the guy always gets back from bathroom with a wet and warm cloth and takes care of the leak. He does it because he cares. “romance me you big guy with your warm and wet cloth”.
Geri: LOL *cries*
Alex: Or he wears condoms but only because they forgot the “I’m clean / she’s clean” convo.
Geri: Coz my husband and I just resort to rock, paper, scissors about who gets to sleep on the wet spot. What? No one does this? Just us then …
Alex: LMAO *Dying*
Actually yeah, I make Swissman change the sheets, I can’t with the wet spot.
Arguing about it even. He says : “Your fault, you couldn’t keep it in”
Geri: Ahaha! We’re too lazy!
Alex: I say : “Your fault you have to get it out.” So… yeeah. Errr.
Geri: *Dies* LOL!
My mission is to try to find a book where the hero and heroine argues to gets to sleep over the wet spot
Alex: LMAO. Kristen Ashley mentioned the wet spot in Sebring I think… or was it Walk Through Fire? But they didn’t really argue about it.


 

Lana: Subject change. Here’s a huge pet peeve… I can’t with emotional issues and sex.
Geri: Why? Tell me and our followers.
Lana:  I read a book where the heroine had some serious issues. Like sexual abuse past… But what she was really concerned about was being able to have sex. Because once she had good sex? Issues gone. I mean…for reals?tumblr_ntt0hwSWHp1s9b724o8_500Geri: Wait wait. I’ve loved books where the heroine wanted to have orgasms and the hero was able I give it to her
Lana: see, but that’s different,
Geri: I’ve enjoyed them but the heroines actually have a life. And they’re not consumed by it
Lana: I’m talking about REAL emotional/mental health issues.
Geri: I think I know what you’re talking about.
Lana:  I like the concept of the heroine thinking that the hero is the best in bed of all that’s she’s had. But please don’t let it be the cure for deeper issues. Please! Magic Peen cure. *shudders*
Alex: It also sends a wrong message to some readers.
Lana:  I mean not having an orgasm is different, you know? I didn’t have one till I met my husband. Come to think of it, that may be why I married him
Geri: Good on you.
Alex : Revelations night. Happening right here, Ladies!
Lana: LOL!
during sex, I mean. Not like…at all
Geri: LOL!
Lana:  Dude, I’d be homicidal if I didn’t have one at all!
Geri:
Alex:
Lana:  oh you know what I mean!
Alex: Congrats to your man, Lana!


 

Geri: Which leads us to another pet peeve: mental issues.
Alex: uh oh…
Geri: Mental issues that just gets cured because reasons. Or the characters don’t believe in therapy
Alex: Hmm don’t remember ever reading those.
Geri: I hate using mental illness as a plot device. It’s my pet peeve.
Lana:  ah yes. The mental issues that most often get glossed over.
Geri: I get that in real life stuff like that happens but respect it enough to actually do something about it. Don’t gloss it over.
Alex: I only read the Cara McKenna one…I think.
Geri: But that’s different since they both worked there although they do have issues.
Alex:  Oh you mean they use it as a plot, like it’s the focus of the book then they get rid of it in the name of true love or good fuck with magic peen? There are books like that?
Geri: Like for example, there’s a very popular book that the hero is bipolar. I’m gonna get heat for this but Real by Katy Evans.
Alex: Oooohh I’ve read this one. Indeed, I know exactly what you mean.
Geri: I’m sorry but you do not treat mental illness like that. I know I will get a lot of hate for this because so many people loved that book but it’s a great example of mental illness being cured by the magic pussy.
Lana: Agreed. I liked that book, but that part really made me cringe. It feels like you’re glossing over a major issue.
Geri: It’s very problematic because he rejected therapy and medicine because he doesn’t want to poison his body. Like what???
Lana:  And so anyone WITH those issues may feel like they’re seriously screwed up if they don’t deal with it in the same blasé matter, know what I mean?
Geri: Exactly Lana.
Alex: Especially on subjects like these, Lana.
Lana:  I read a book with bipolar heroine and it was written in such a blasé and flippant way, it was unreal.
Like “yeah, I tried to kill myself, but such is life.” Really? I mean, c’mon! *headdesk*
Geri: I personally know people with these issues and it’s just so wrong to be treated in such a blasé manner. It’s also irresponsible.


 

Alex: Moving on from the heavy subjects with a rather… strange pet peeve of mine…
Geri: Let’s hear it.
Alex: The over achingly sweet HEA… (don’t shoot) Or even the epilogue part.
Geri: Noooooooo! Take it back!
Alex: LOL
Geri: I love sweet HEA.
Lana:  Dude. I do, too.
Alex: I truly prefer HFN endings
Geri: I’m okay with HFN. But I don’t seek them out!
Alex: I don’t need to know they’re going to be married have 3 kids and a dog…. I don’t really, and sometimes it’s just so overdone.
Geri: Oh yea some are overkill.
Alex: Now I did enjoy some HEA… (I have Kristen Ashley in mind.) but mostly I don’t care for them
Lana: Nothing beats a KA epilogue. NOTHING.
Geri: Agreed. There’s something about them.
Lana: I don’t care if they’re filled with cheese. I cry like a baby and love every sentence. You’re just a cynical whore, Alex LMAO!
Geri: Lol, that she is.
Alex: Hey, fuck off now, I said I did enjoy KA ones.
Lana: But agreed, it definitely CAN be overdone.
Alex: Okay so basically we all just agreed but Alex is a cynical whore. I see how it is with you Hookers. Blame it on the Frenchie. AGAIN.


 

Lana: Dating for two months? It’s twu wuv! Let’s get married and I’ll knock you up. NO
Alex: You know Lana, it annoys me especially in insta-love stories.
Lana:  Insta-love and too quick relationships with that sort of HEA is too much.
Geri: Now non HEA on the other hand… Can fuck off.
Lana:  Meh. I met my quota of one non-HEA book for the year. Otherwise, nope. nope. nope. HELL NOPE
Alex: Non-HEA I don’t mind that much. Really if the story was good… It has romance in it. I can live with it.
Lana:  I get what you mean, Alex. I totally agree with you on that.
Geri: I have read too many books like that in the past. I don’t like it when they’re categorized as romance. Fiction or general fiction, fine but romance?
Lana: Cara McKenna handles it the best. I love her HFNs
Geri: I agree. She writes the best HFNs.
Alex: Cara McKenna is my drug of choice. l Love her stories because of this, Lana. Her stories seem so real. The HFN helps a lot.
Alex: Hmm mmm, Geri needs her sweet HEA! 😉
Geri: I do. Life is depressing enough as it is.


 

Alex: What about flowery wording to describe human anatomy in romance?
What was the worst you’ve ever read?
Geri: Hate. It doesn’t even have to be describing an anatomy I just hate purple prose. With a passion
Alex: Purple prose, you mean the constant analogies / poetry to describe everything?
Geri: Yes. Purple prose in general drive me insane. Like describing the rain would take one chapter instead of one sentence. Or the color of the leaves.
Alex: And genitals analogies can really make me laugh sometimes. I ‘m okay with calling it what it is. Authors, don’t get too creative about this, please.
Geri: Agree.
Alex: one that truly put me off once was the “Man Meat” to describe a dick.
Lana:  Meat sword doesn’t do it for you?giphy-9Alex: Anything “meat” to describe a cock is a turn off.
Geri: Yes, and so disrespectful to vegetarians and vegans everywhere
Alex: LMAO!
Geri: I mean seriously. What if your reader is a vegan? You just got DNF’d!
Alex: Only time they would eat meat though. It’s a fantasy somehow, no?
Geri: But it’s soo…*shudders*
Alex: This reminds me an author compared a dick to an eggplant once. So… yeah.
Geri: LOL!
Alex: Put me off eating eggplants ever again.
Lana:  AHAHAHAHA *cringes* and on that note…. This is getting quite lengthy.
Alex: YOU would say that. Whore.
Lana:  AHAHAHA ! Quit that! lol
Geri: But in all seriousness. Sometimes I still enjoy books with a lot of pet peeves
Lana:  that’s very true. It all depends how it’s pulled off.
Geri: I think it has to do with the skill of the author.
Alex:  I can overlook some. I’m not THAT picky
Lana: *checks outside for flying pigs*
Alex: shut up. I’m not. I have exigencies while you are just easy. But then you are a whore so…
Geri: Sometimes it’s also my mood.
Alex: Mood plays a huge part on what I can take or not.
Geri: I get into a mood where I hates everythings.
Lana:  Total mood reader here.
Alex: So many parameters. Authors sure can’t please everyone.
Geri: They can’t. I know there are a lot of readers out there who would love every single pet peeve we talked about.
And that perfectly fine. We’re all different.
Alex: Especially Lana. Right?
Lana:  *glares*tumblr_nxx3ajC7Ii1s9b724o6_500

Comments

  1. Baseballmom says:

    The HookerLine…..you guys absolutely crack me up! I’ll be sitting there literally lmfaoing and my husband will ask, “What’s so funny”? And I’ll be like………….”Nothing” and then go right back to laughing! Love it.

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