★The Hooker Line★ Most Anticipated Books

Hooker_Line_Episode1_LanaThe Hooker Line?
What is this? A new sex operator service?
Well, not quite. Alleskelle claims that she understands how the words hooker in a line associated with me could make you think that. But I say she’s a dirty whore. So that’s that.

But in all seriousness, The Hooker Line is simply real honest book talk between 3 book addicts. It came about as a joke between the three of us late one night when we were doing what we do best: bitching and gushing about books. And we thought, hey, why not make it a thing? So we did. Welcome to our very first Hooker Line feature between 3 book addicts and bloggers;

This month we had the choice between talking most anticipated books for the new year and new blogging goals…though in our usual fashion that subject veered off course REAL quick like. We can’t just ease you into our debauchery…or can we?prepare_your_anus_moment_6

Geri: … Let’s ease them into it.
Lana: I concur about easing. People will get the wrong idea…or right idea.
Geri: Like virgins don’t do anal on the first date. Sorry but it’s true.
Alex: Oooh so what you say is we need to use a smaller butt plug?
Geri: Yes. Easing. (Seems quite sure of herself) Smaller butt pugs first.
Alex: Then we need to start on this Hooker talk! We posted teasers about it. And after the teasing…
Geri: I’m good now.
Lana: I can do eet now!
Alex: Me too. Seriously?
Geri: How did we get to anal talk?
Alex: Lana started it. As usual.
Geri: No surprises.
Lana: I did NOT. It was that whore Geri!
Alex: You lie whore!
Lana: Quit lying you lie whore! I’m an anal virgin.

Lana: Quit trying to corrupt me with your whoring ways!
Alex: Yeah. Sure. Huh, huh.
Geri: Right.
Lana: So, er, anyway, weren’t we doing new releases or some shit?
Alex: We were about to talk most anticipated releases for 2016.
Lana: How did this turn into gang up on Lana anal talk?
Geri: No we were going to talk blogging goals.
Lana: We have goals? I have no goals so that may be a tough one.
Geri: Sorry the easing part started it all!
Alex: Maybe we’ll start with most anticipated books then goals?

Alex: I just need to be sure you two will behave.
Lana: That word…is foreign to me. Behave.
Geri: I can’t promise!
Lana: Even tastes funny when I say it out loud…
Geri: Right? Not in my vocabulary.
Alex: … So. No fighting about the next Kele Moon book. I call dibs on all her men. ALL of them.
Lana: Look, Alex. Just drop it, mkay? Just like I’ll drop you if you even go near my Nova.
Alex: I am greedy. And needy. And I called dibs. Therefore he is mine.
Lana: Isn’t that a song? LOL
Alex: It’s my song, sure.
Lana: Greedy whore. Has a nice ring to it.
Alex: Do you have to add “whore” at the end of your every sentences?
Geri: (*blows whistle) So, Hookers, reading first.
Alex: Okay, let’s put Nova aside. For now.
Lana: *grumbles* Fine, fine.
Geri: Let’s not discuss Nova yet.
Alex: But we will discuss him. I mean fight for him.
Lana: 51DCo07zQdL._SX309_BO1,204,203,200_Cuff Me by Lauren Layne! Can we talk about for a hot moment? Because I NEED! Alex: I can’t wait for this one! Morettis!!
Geri: Wait. Is that on Netgalley already?
Lana: Wait. What?
Alex: Shhhh! DO NOT mention Netgalley. Please. I’m trying to behave with arcs!
Lana: LMAO. *stays silent*
Geri: (*off to search said book on NetGalley)
Alex: (Is it though?)
Lana: LMAO! No. Geri is a teasing whore. But seriously though.
Alex: I need this Moretti! He is mine as well!
Lana: Me too!
Alex: Too late!
Lana: That hate lust thing is totally doing it for me. Wait. What? Quit taking them all you greedy bitch! Gawd.
Alex: I’m greedy… And needy…
Lana: Huge lust for this book. I’ve needed that book since the first one. He’s all grumpy and moody and yum yum. And she’s a sassy little thing too.
Alex: Yum yum? You lost brain cells already!

Alex: So Geri, which one are you dying to read?
Geri: Umm… aside from Kele’s book, nothing at the moment. I’m waiting on conclusions, those damn cliffies!
Lana: I threaten bodily harm about them on a daily basis. Cliffys that is.
Geri: I’m waiting for Thick Love next book. Sin & Suffer too.
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Alex: One I really can’t wait to read is Dirty by Kylie Scott.
Lana: Dirty. YES. Yaaaaaas!
Lana: Yesssss! I want that one.
Lana: I want that one BAD.

 

Alex: Oh and next Alice Clayton. Cream of The Crop? I loved Nuts!
Lana: Oooh. Long wait for that one though.
Alex: This one sounds very promising. Tortured Hero. Releases July 2016, I think?
Geri: I had forgotten about Nuts
Lana: The butter man, lol!
Alex: The Milk Man, lmao
Geri: lol
Lana: I call him BUTTer man
Alex: And you said you were anal virgin? You lie whore!
Geri: And we are back to anal!
Lana: LMAO! He has a nice ass.
Alex: See?
Lana: Stop turning everything sexual, FFS!
Alex: We are always coming back to Anal with Lana. A closed circle. Makes sense.

Alex: Another one I’m dying to get my hands onto is The Bourbon Thief by Tiffany Reisz!
Geri: Ooooh! I want The Goal like yesterday!
Alex: The Goal? Author?
Geri: Elle Kennedy.
Alex: I think I’ll have to pass. (…)
Geri: *stares at Alex horrified*
Lana: lalalala…. Can’t hear you!!! I want Tuck so BAD!
Alex: I liked her Erotica titles but I couldn’t get into her off Campus series.
Lana: You cray is what you are.
Alex: Hey, I’ll leave you Tucker and keep Nova. Deal?

Geri: Shush!

Lana: Oh oh oh and Fathomless by Joanna Wylde! Oh man… I am DYING for that one.
Alex: Fathomless is a standalone? I think I’ve read only one book by Joanna Wylde so far.
Lana: It’s book 2 in her Silver Valley series. Hero is a mob prince.
Alex: Not read this one (yet!)
Lana: GAH! I NEED!
Geri:I want that too.
Alex: Geri, you want everything, you greedy hooker you.
Geri: Get used to it!
Lana: His set up at the end of Silver Bastard was utterly delicious. Seriously. The wait is killing me!
Lana: Goodreads says February 2016. But I don’t think that’s right.

Geri: I have forgotten half the storylines of the books we are mentioning here.
Alex: Another one I’m really eager to read is next Winston brother. Penny Reid. You’ve read Truth or Beard Geri?
Geri: Yes.
Lana: I still haven’t read anything by Penny Reid.
Alex: SHUT UP Lana. Get out. Now. I can’t even with you!
Lana:  
Geri: Not sure about the actress heroine though. I’m not fan of actors and actresses as main characters.
Alex: But wait Geri, it’s Penny. Maybe it’ll be awesome. She does romance differently.
Geri: That’s what I’m counting on. I’ll read anything by her.
Alex: Yes, me too. Such a singular voice. And plots.
Lana: Can I talk now or I’m still on time out?
Alex: Okay, you may come back. Behave. No anal.
Lana: Just lanA then.

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Alex: I can’t believe no one mentioned Quarry’s book. Aly Martinez! That is soon! February 2nd!
Lana: I want Quarry!
Alex: Really hoping it’ll be back on the emotional side like book one.

Alex: So that’s it? That’s all you got for 2016?
Lana: The One Real Thing by Samantha Young.
Alex: Oooh! When is this coming out?
Lana: September. *dies*
Alex: Shoot. Everything is releasing so far away.
Geri: Too far away.
Alex: What are we going to read in the mean time? lol
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Lana: Oh, oh, oh and Furious Rush by SC Stephens! That sounds so freaking good!
Alex: SC Stephens… No Keira?
Lana: Better news, No Keira. I hated that whore so much!
Alex: LOL!

 

Geri: Colorado Mountain!
Alex: Oooh next Colorado Mountain!!! Bounty!
Lana: Ooooh yes!
Geri: Yup.
Alex: I love this series. I was just re-reading The Gamble the other night. So good.
Geri: Who is Deke again?
Alex: He was friends with Tate, right? A biker?
Lana: Yes, Tate. And isn’t a new Magdalene in the works too?
Geri: I think so.

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Alex: There is a new Jill Shalvis series too. I’m a sucker for her books.
51Xx8wBkIrL._SX309_BO1,204,203,200_Geri: I’m always up for anything by Jill.
Alex: Heartbreaker Bay series. Book 1 is Sweet Little Lies.
Lana: That one sounds so good too.
Alex: Coming next June. Hoping it’ll have the same feel as Lucky Harbor series.
Geri: I loved Lucky Harbor.
Alex: Lucky Harbor is my favorite Romantic comedy series. EVER. You read them Lana?

Lana: I can’t remember. I’ve read most of her older stuff but I haven’t kept up with the new ones.
41ZLbYdvdeL._SX304_BO1,204,203,200_Alex: Lauren Layne has a new series coming too. Or maybe a standalone?
Geri: I didn’t know.
Lana: I saw that. I’ll read anything by her. Anything.
Alex: To Have and To Hold. Wedding Belles series. Coming July 26th.
Geri: I’m waiting for… I forgot his name…
Alex: Author?
Geri: No, LL. Her Oxford series. lol
Alex: Oh the one everyone wanted first!
Geri: Who was the relationship expert guy in their magazine?
Alex: Someone like you is name of the book. Lincoln!
Geri: Lincoln! Damnit!
Lana: Lincoln! You know I’m all about those manwhores.
Geri: I can’t wait for his book.
Alex: Manwhores… Sigh.
Geri: Me too. Nothing safe with us!

Lana: I’ve come to realize recently I have like no hard limits in books.
Alex: That is… surprising, Lana. NOT.
Lana: You shut your whore mouth! No one asked you anyway!
Geri: I’m so confused.
Lana: Well, except twatty heroines. I can’t do twatty heroines.
Alex: I think I can handle anything. But same, I need my characters to be smart.

Alex: … Time to wrap this up, Hookers! Lana, your 5 most anticipated?

Lana:  So hard to pick though. I have at least 7 more!
1. Fighting Solitude by Aly Martinez
2. Last Kiss by Lauren Paige
3. Fathomless by Joanna Wylde
4. Cuff Me by Lauren Layne
5. Dirty by Kylie Scott

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Alex: 5 tops! Don’t be such a greedy hooker!

Geri: Mine is…
1. The Goal by Elle Kennedy
2. First Star I see Tonight by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
3. Dirty by Kylie Scott
4. Someone Like You by Lauren Layne
5. The Enforcer by Kele Moon

Lana: OMG, The Enforcer! Can I have 6?

Alex: Nope. Here are mine,

1. Dirty – Kylie Scott
2. The Enforcer by Kele Moon
3. Sweet Little Lies by Jill Shalvis
4. Bounty by Kristen Ashley
5. Cream of the Crop by Alice Clayton

Geri: And Molly O Keefe’s Burn Down The Night.
Alex: Woman, you had your 5.
Geri: How about 6?
Alex: How about 7?
Lana: How about 10? ^^ Everything good comes in 10. No?
Alex: 10 inches will definitely looks good.
Lana: Or was it 9?
Alex: 10 is better.
Lana: I’m saying!
Geri: We’ll never finish.
Alex: Let’s keep it a Top 5.
Lana: No! I need 7! I demand satisfaction!
Alex: That’s what she said.
Lana: Fuck off. LMAO.
Alex: Love you too.
Geri: Booo
Lana: I get no respect. No respect!
Alex: Woman. Seriously?
Lana: What?
Alex: She starts all her convos with anal analogies and she wants respect?
Lana: I did NOT start the anal talk! Quit it!
Alex: You quit it, you’re just mad because you forgot The Enforcer!


And that’s a wrap folks. Well not really, but we had to cut ourselves off because the rant would have went on and on and on and on. What’s to come then? More hooker talk between us three hookers. No subject will be safe. NONE.

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We’d love to hear about some of your most anticipate releases in the comments below. And to enable your book whoring ways, we’re each giving away a $5 Amazon gift card on our Facebook pages. Make sure you visit each one to enter!

My Giveaway Post

Alex’s Giveaway Post

Geri’s Giveaway Post

 

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Comments

  1. Loved this!!! Had me cracking up and adding books to my tbr on good reads. Thanks.

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